Hope.
It’s a word we hear often, but do we really know what it means? I mean, really know what it means, what it looks like? This is something I feel like I’ve struggled with for a while. Every time I feel like I have it figured out, God throws me a curve ball. Over the past few months, I’ve been struggling with figuring out what it looks like to hope and to wait expectantly, but not tell God what He is going to do for me. I know that God can do anything, but He also has the freedom to tell me “No.” My job is to acknowledge His sovereignty in all of it.
Recently, God has really been challenging me with the idea of waiting expectantly for things that are not promised. It is clear throughout Scripture that we can count on the things that God has promised. However, I’ve been struggling with how much assurance I can have when praying for something that has not been promised in Scripture. Like, when I’m praying for Ryan. God hasn’t promised me that Ryan will be saved. Scripture is abundantly clear that some people will indeed be condemned to hell for eternity. For all I know, Ryan could be one of those people. That absolutely breaks my heart! I can’t even express in words how badly I yearn for him to come to know the Lord. And I pray for it constantly. But, at the end of the day, how much assurance do I have that God will really save him? I have no promise to fall back on here. Sure, there’s Scripture that tells us that God longs for all to be saved, that He works for the good of those who love him and are called according to His purpose, that He is able to save anyone. But there is no guarantee that He will indeed intercede for Ryan. The fact remains that some people will not be saved.
But I am still trying to remain hopeful. I want to wait expectantly, to be still and watch the mighty things that God is going to do. But hope is a scary thing. I am so afraid to get my hopes up for Ryan’s salvation if that is not God’s plan. Ultimately, God will be glorified, and that is the most important thing. But it breaks my heart to think that Ryan might not love the Lord. I will continue to hope and pray that God will open Ryan’s eyes to the truth of the Gospel, and continue to learn more about what hope looks like for me right now.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
Oh, how He loves us....
So there’s this new phenomena. I’m not sure if it happens universally, or just at CNU, but the first few weeks of each semester, it seems like everyone is starting new relationships. It’s quite delightful A few of my friends have recently started new relationships, and it is so much fun to watch them as they interact with their new “love interest.” Their entire demeanor changes! They are so excited to just be around each other. They grin incessantly, giggle a lot more, and they just can’t hide their joy. But it got me thinking….
Do I react this way to God’s love?
He loves me so much more than any boy ever could! Yet so often, it is so easy for women to idolize men. We long for relationships, yet we refuse to run to the Savior who created relationships. I admit that I have definitely struggled with idolizing relationships. By God’s grace, He has pulled me through that and in to a deeper relationship with Him. But He’s started to show me a new, exciting part of my relationship with Him. He sacrificed everything in order to establish a relationship with mankind. He delights to be with us. That should lead me to such uncontainable joy, similar to my friends who recently started relationships. As I watch all these new couples pop up, it really convicts me of the way I respond to Christ’s love.
Just think about it for a second:
When people are starting relationships, they go out of their way to make sure that they can see their bf/gf.
Do I go out of my way to spend time with God?
New couples talk to each other for hours, or consistently through out the day.
Do I talk to God that much? Does it bother me if I haven’t talked to Him in a while?
Nothing seems to bother people who just started relationships, because they are so excited about their new relationship that nothing trivial really phases them.
Am I that rooted and secure in God? Do I really keep things in perspective?
A lot of my single friends hate this phase of the semester because they say it always makes them want a boy who will flatter them and pursue them. While I sympathize, I think very frequently (more frequently than I want to admit) I fail to remember that a boy has already sacrificed everything for me. He pursued me more than any other man ever can. He left heaven and a seat at the right hand of the Father in order to ensure that we would be able to spend eternity together. He sacrificed His life so that I would not be a slave to sin. He washed me clean and clothed me in righteousness, despite my failure to remain faithful. He will never leave me or forsake me; He knows my innermost thoughts; He knows every hair on my head. When I look to the cross, it really helps put things in perspective.
Do I react this way to God’s love?
He loves me so much more than any boy ever could! Yet so often, it is so easy for women to idolize men. We long for relationships, yet we refuse to run to the Savior who created relationships. I admit that I have definitely struggled with idolizing relationships. By God’s grace, He has pulled me through that and in to a deeper relationship with Him. But He’s started to show me a new, exciting part of my relationship with Him. He sacrificed everything in order to establish a relationship with mankind. He delights to be with us. That should lead me to such uncontainable joy, similar to my friends who recently started relationships. As I watch all these new couples pop up, it really convicts me of the way I respond to Christ’s love.
Just think about it for a second:
When people are starting relationships, they go out of their way to make sure that they can see their bf/gf.
Do I go out of my way to spend time with God?
New couples talk to each other for hours, or consistently through out the day.
Do I talk to God that much? Does it bother me if I haven’t talked to Him in a while?
Nothing seems to bother people who just started relationships, because they are so excited about their new relationship that nothing trivial really phases them.
Am I that rooted and secure in God? Do I really keep things in perspective?
A lot of my single friends hate this phase of the semester because they say it always makes them want a boy who will flatter them and pursue them. While I sympathize, I think very frequently (more frequently than I want to admit) I fail to remember that a boy has already sacrificed everything for me. He pursued me more than any other man ever can. He left heaven and a seat at the right hand of the Father in order to ensure that we would be able to spend eternity together. He sacrificed His life so that I would not be a slave to sin. He washed me clean and clothed me in righteousness, despite my failure to remain faithful. He will never leave me or forsake me; He knows my innermost thoughts; He knows every hair on my head. When I look to the cross, it really helps put things in perspective.
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