Do I invited Biblical masculinity, or force it?

So, ladies, I’ve been really convicted of something recently.  Examining my behavior, and behaviors of others around me, I’ve found myself asking myself the question: Am I the type of woman who forces a guy to man up, or a woman who invites him to? 

This is a question that I have been asking myself for a few months now.  Though the goal of both actions is the same, the method is completely different.

Let’s look at Esther and Ruth.  Esther was married to a king who had issued an edict to kill all of the Jews in the nation.  As his wife, she seized her opportunity for an audience with the king to plead on behalf of her people.  She told him the situation and pleaded for him to rectify the situation.  She invited him to help repair the situation, and he did. 

Ruth, one of my favorite Biblical women, was also a master at presenting a man with an opportunity to step up to Biblical manhood.  She was a widow who travelled with her mother-in-law back to Israel.  Boaz was a relative who was able to be a kinsman redeemer (a man who would marry the widow of a recently deceased relative to take care of her and provide for the family).  Ruth gleaned in his field and he made sure she was provided for. But he didn’t’ propose.  So Ruth took the opportunity to boldly invite him to step up to his duty.  She laid at his feet on the threshing floor, uncovering his feet.  Pretty bold for the time. And you know what Boaz did?  He showered her with lavish gifts of food and other provisions, then had her leave before the sun came up so that no one could say anything against her.  Then he went out the next day and claimed his right as kinsman redeemer.

These women were pros at inviting men to step up to their Biblical role as men.  Am I acting the same?  Am I inviting men to fill their role and calling as men, or am I trying to manipulate them in to doing it?  I want to be a woman who behaves in a way to lovingly encourages men to step up. However, I can not let the goal overshadow the method- I can not manipulate guys in to behaving a certain way. That is a work only the Lord can do.  But, I can also draw their attention to situations that could use their involvement.  Esther and Ruth didn’t have to manipulate guys in to stepping up- they simply brought something to their attention.  That is a great way to be a helpmate, not a burden.  That distinction makes an essential difference. 

Motives Matter

The Lord has taught me a TON of stuff over the past few weeks.  On my journey of dealing with pride, He has humbled me in numerous areas- areas that I never knew I struggled with.

One theme has been my motives.  I do so many things with the intention of drawing attention to myself!  And my motives matter. They matter a lot.  Why?  Because they reveal so much about the sin in my heart. 

If my motives are to draw attention to myself, then I am working for my own glory.  I am stealing glory from God.  Hurts a bit more when it’s phrased that way, right?  The Lord humbled me greatly by bringing that to my attention.  If I am working to further MY name, then I am not working to further His Name.  How wretched I am!  Like Paul, we can proclaim in all honesty, O wretched [wo]man that I am! Our actions, even if they can be holy, are easily tarnished by sin.  Who am I trying to glorify?  Who am I trying to honor? Am I caring for others to boost my reputation, or am I serving them because I am living by the Spirit to the glory of God the Father?  A question I must ask myself frequently is: would I do this as eagerly if it were not known by others?  Or is it only easy to serve and love others when everyone is watching?  Let’s be honest, it is what we do in private that reveals a great deal about the condition of our hearts. Am I dreaming of glorifying the Lord, and Him receiving due worship and praise, or do I long for my own praise and glorification? Am I working to make myself famous, or God??

Pride and my morning run

I’ve been realizing  a lot about myself recently.  As I transition to Memphis, the Lord has spoken to me very clearly and has revealed many sins I have been clinging to.  A huge one in my life has been pride.  It manifests in numerous ways; once I start to battle one area, it springs up somewhere else.  The enemy is so sneaky!  It comes out so deceptively; I betray myself in to thinking that my behavior is normal, that my motives aren't dark and sinful.

One example that has struck me is my running schedule.  Sounds simple, right?  Where could pride be?  ALL. OVER.
My housemates and I have been running together. I struggled with it at first, and kept telling myself it is because I like to run by myself. But running with them didn’t impact anything!  Why did I want to run alone?  They didn’t impact my pace, my distance, and we just listen to music the whole time.
It was pride.

I enjoy being the “fit” one in the house.  I want to be the one that exercises.  When everyone else is running, that suddenly can’t be my identity.  And when I’m not the one running the farthest- whoa.  Talk about pride!  I wanted to be the best and run the farthest so that I felt better about myself!  I would feel accomplished because I was “doing better” than the other girls. 
But there’s a problem with my plan- I’m not the best. I’ll never be the best.  There will always be someone that exercises more, runs farther, runs faster, and does better. That’s just a fact.  Even world records are beaten swiftly!  THAT CAN’T BE MY IDENTITY.

As I began to process this internally, I began to see the many ways that pride comes out in my life. Continuing with the running example, I would always “casually” mention running in front of others.  Why? To get attention and recognition.  I would run by myself so that I was the only one who could say “I went for a run this morning.”  How wicked is that?!  My pride had almost consumed my exercise routine- imagine the hold it has on other areas of my life!
After examining my heart (which I’ve had to do multiple times), I have realized that I need to be constantly on guard for numerous things with running. First, I must examine my motives in my exercise.  Am I exercising to be healthy, or to be skinny?  To honor God with my body, to have prayer time, to worship God through the miracle of running, or is it so that I can brag about it later and use it to glorify myself  and not the God who created the muscles that enable my movement?

That is a humbling heart check. I encourage you to try it sometime.

My motives are so easily disguised and masked as pure, but underneath the deception lies the sin of pride.

What is the best way for me to fight this sin?  First, I have to examine my heart each day.  Do I want to run just as much if I know that no one will find out I’ve run, or is this just something for me to brag about later?  Am I defining myself by trying to be the best? Am I humble enough to let someone out perform me?

You guys, this is a hard fight.  In order to be successful in this war, we must expose it to the light.  Before my run this morning, I had to confess to my housemate that I was being competitive.  I love running by myself because it gives me private time with the Lord to pray and reflect, but that is often not my primary reason.  I don’t want to share my glory. And, hear me clearly on this (well, READ this clearly!)- THAT IS SIN.  That is robbing the glory that is due to CHRIST, not me.  As women, we often get competitive, especially around boys.  But in Christ we are called to encourage one another, to build each other up, not discourage and stifle one another!  Song of Songs 2:2 describes a noble woman as a lily among thorns- and that is what we are supposed to be. We are not to hinder the growth of our sisters- we are there to be a unique beauty and encouragement to them among a world full of deceit and discouragement.  We are called to help one another thrive! When I only try to glorify myself, I am robbing God of glory, and my sisters of blessing.  I am not here to steal attention from them.  I am called to be secure in God’s love for me; as a result, I am not competing with my sisters for attention or love- that is complete in Christ. I am free to encourage and love by the power of Christ.  It leads to a whole new dynamic among others, and a new humility in my heart.  It is an on going battle, because my pride is ever present.  But it is a battle we must wage daily, lest the devil have any foothold in our lives or our community.