Lessons from Bronchitis...

I love how the Lord allows us to worship in a variety of ways, for a myriad of things. I have understood that for many years now, but it is so cool how the Lord has reminded me of it this past week.


I’ve had bronchitis for the past week or so, and it has been quite unpleasant. I’ve been coughing a lot, my lungs ache, my body aches, I’m physically weak/exhausted, and it is difficult to breathe. Yet I can still say with confidence that God is so good.

First, God has taken care of me better than anyone else can. He knows that I refuse to rest, so He has cleared my schedule for me and forced me to rest on more than one occasion. I had 3 things rearranged/cancelled in my schedule this week, which allowed me to get more sleep (hallelujah!). Additionally, He’s given me various encouragements throughout the week- just silly little things He knows I’ll appreciate. He is SO SO good to me. Our God is so amazingly thoughtful and creative. I just love and adore Him so much!

Also, He has taught me a great deal about the attitude of my worship. Seeking His face in daily life has allowed me to see how intentional and thoughtful God is. As I’ve seen His hand moving in my daily life, it has led to me to worship so many times. As I see His intentionality and how immensely personal God is, it leads to His throne room in praise.

Additionally, worship songs have been particularly impactful in new ways this week. First- it is SO difficult for me to sing right now. Not only do I not have a voice, but it also takes a lot of energy to sing; it makes it harder to breathe, and it quite exerting. I know that sounds stupid, and it’s quite humbling to admit- but that’s just the way it is. As I was singing in worship this week, different phrases really impacted me in new ways. One song in particular begins “You’re every breath I breathe in, You’re every breath I breathe out; You’re every breath in me, God; every moment in Your hands.” That verse hit me so hard! Here I was laboring for breath, and God was in every breath. As much as I’ve hated being sick, God has been in that. In every moment, in every labored breath- He is there, and more importantly- He is to be glorified- despite my circumstances, my attitude, my situations, my mood, or my health. I am to worship Him with the entirety of my being.

And that includes being thankful for every breath, even if it is hard. That means worshiping despite circumstances, illness, attitude, whatever. That means seeking to see how the Lord is encouraging me each day, watching with anticipation to see His intentionality and thoughtfulness.

I’m so thankful for a personal God who can be worshipped in so many ways, for a God who seeks to encourage us and invite us to worship- even if it is just through breathing joyfully.

Free from power, but not presence....

Last night, we learned about harmatology (the study of sin) in class at Downline. AWESOME lesson- so convicting, yet encouraging. As we learn about God and sin, we begin to truly see how offensive sin is in the sight of God.


One thing Jamie said really hit home for me; he said that “We are free from the power of sin, but we aren’t free from the presence of it.” That’s heavy! As I’ve explained in earlier posts, I’m really trying to take this month examine what provisions for the flesh I am making on a daily basis; how am I allowing sin’s presence in my life? I am striving to live a life as free from the presence of sin as possible! John Bryson said it well- “It is easier to avoid the temptation than to resist the temptation.”

What does that look like in my life?

What are things that bring out the sin, what points out the sin in me, and what fights the sin in me?

I need more activities and thoughts that wage war on sin, less activities that offer its presence. We can see this process in Scripture- in Judges, we see the Israelites progress from living among sin, to taking part in sin, to serving sin. That’s a progression I have no desire to be a part of. That means I must wage war well. I must learn Truth in order to recognize lies. Scripture is the only offensive weapon mentioned in the Armor of God (Ephesians 6). I see two huge applications from that:

1) My defense is SUPER important. I must first defend against attacks from the devil. Many battles will involve “standing firm” and “do not be moved.” By the grace of God, He may enable me to take the offensive, but I am only able to have success over the enemy through the power of God.

2) I can only fight the Enemy with the Word of God. Satan is the father of lies, so I must fight him with Truth. God is the opposite of everything Satan is, but Satan will masquerade as an angel of light. That means it is of utmost importance that I recognize the True Light; if I can’t identify the real deal, how will I recognize a fake?

Needless to say, I have a lot of things to think over. This month of spiritual cleansing has already rearranged a whole bunch of things in my life, and exposed a lot of sinful motives in my heart. However, it is also training me in righteousness in ways I never would have anticipated. God is so gracious, and it is such a privilege to be disciplined by Him. I pray He would continue to shape me and enable me to see the things in my life that I need to change in order to be transformed more into His likeness.

Week One

Well, it has officially been one week of my “spiritual cleansing” month.


This is so much harder than I imagined it would be. But also exponentially better than I could have fathomed.

The Lord has been gracious enough to reveal certain needs with in me; some are sources of comfort that need to be purged, but most are comforts that simply need to be monitored and redeemed. For instance, keeping a check on my conversation and being cautious to avoid behaviors that I simply do to get attention- my pride needs to be purged. There’s no room for that in a child of God. That is sin; it is working for the glory of self, not the glory of God. Stealing glory from God is not a fruit of the Spirit, it is a fruit of the enemy.

However, make-up and coffee are things I think I can use in a redeemed way. They are not an idol in my life, they don’t harm my witness, and they are neutral items that can be used for good or evil. That means I must use them with caution. But I do think that they can be used by godly people, for the glory of God. I am still avoiding them for this month, simply for the sake of redeeming my use of them. I depended on them far more than I realized. It’s not that I feel ugly without make up, but I do want to put it on. To be honest, I want to put it on REALLY bad- just because it makes me feel prettier. I don’t find my identity in it, but I can be supplementing my identity with it- which is still sin. I must take this month to redeem my motives before I can properly redeem the use of these items.

God has proved to be so faithful throughout this month, and far more patient than I deserve. He has been gracious in exposing my sinful heart, the root sin of my behaviors, and enabling me by His Spirit to resist those sinful desires (most of the time). I’m sure that I still have huge blind spots, but the Lord has been faithful to give me what I can handle. I’ll be sure to keep you updated on this journey of cleansing through November, and let me know if I can encourage you in any way!

Not quite No Shave November...

I’m sure you’ve heard of the metabolism cleanses and other similar diets. For these diets, you restrict your food intake very severely so that you have absolutely no preservatives in your diet. It is supposed to cleanse your system. Fasting does something similar- it purges all the toxins from your body, which is healthy to do on occasion.


The month of November, I am trying to do a spiritual cleanse. And I’m telling you because I need accountability (and I’d love to invite you to join me if you want)!

I am seeking to use the month of November to be intentionally putting to death any provisions for the flesh, leading me to learn to depend wholly and fully on the Lord. Similar to a metabolism cleanse, I am trying to remove any fake preservatives from my life, which means that I can only depend on the Lord.

And the Lord has already worked in ways I NEVER expected.

It all started when I decided to do “No Make-up November.” I’ve never felt like make-up has been an idol for me, but I do feel more confident and pretty when I wear it. I don’t feel particularly insecure when I’m not wearing it though. However, the Lord convicted me that if I truly wanted to see if it was an idol in my life, the easiest way was to completely remove it from my life for a period and see if it was an issue.

After deciding that toward the end of October, the Lord continued to challenge me. I have so many sources I use for comfort! When I have an I-feel-fat day, I turn on certain music; when I’m stressed I do certain activities or talk to certain people; when I feel insecure, I’ll wear certain clothes or seek attention from certain people- it’s pathetic, really. I’m turning to creation and not the Creator. The Lord has truly challenged me to check my motives in my actions. I want to seek to abide in Him and love Him more intentionally. I must learn what things stir my affection for Christ, versus which things take away from my dependence and admiration of Him.

Additionally, He has convicted me to be more intentional with people around me, as well as my relationship with Him. As much as I seek to encourage other people, am I truly seeking after opportunities to be a blessing and encouragement to the Lord? What does He say He delights in? Do I rejoice in that? In my interactions with people, am I seeking to stir their affections for me, or for Christ?

Needless to say, November is going to be a challenging month for me. If I am hesitant about doing something (my motives in it, if it may be a provision for the flesh, if it is less than beneficial)- I’m going to try to cut it out. If there’s doubt, cut it out. And it’s already SO DIFFICULT! But SO SO SO rewarding. They say it takes 28 days to form a habit, so hopefully this will help me to habitually question my motives and examine my heart.

Lessons from a Worm Snake

Yesterday, as I was raking leaves, I discovered a worm snake. It was small (less than a foot long), and not poisonous. Probably relatively harmless.


But I absolutely killed that thing.

I killed it DEAD. It was chopped up in to bits less than an inch long (praise Jesus for machetes and generous friends!)

The Lord taught me a valuable lesson as I killed that snake. I was recently reading in Judges about how the Israelites would enslave the conquered lands, but they failed to drive them out. Additionally, we see in Genesis how Eve talks to the snake and engages it in conversation, thus leading to her being deceived. Both of these narratives remind me of how to deal with sin. We must put it to death, not entertain it or “master it.” We’re not quite as capable as we would like to think.

Israel fell in to idolatry for generations by failing to kill the conquered peoples and their idols. Adam and Eve led mankind to fall in to sin due to entertaining a seemingly harmless conversation with a serpent. But God is clear- we are to crucify our flesh and its desires, and flee from any sin that may entangle us.

Which is (oddly) what came to mind as I chopped up this rogue reptile slithering through my yard. The snake wasn’t the problem- it was what it could lead to.

First, I thought the snake was a baby. I don’t want to find an even bigger snake next spring! So I killed it when it was small.

Second, I couldn’t see its head, so I didn’t know if it was poisonous or not- I’m not taking any chances. Let it be known: Catoe don’t play.

Third- my roommates have made it abundantly clear that they do not like snakes. For peace of mind, this thing had to go.

You guys, the same is true for our sin!

I must put it to death when it is smaller and manageable (a baby sin, if you will); if I wait until it has taken root, the battle will be much more difficult. I will still have victory in Christ, but why make a battle more difficult than it needs to be? Scripture instructs us to put to death the sin that lies within us, to lay aside any thing that may entangle us. That means kill it ASAP.

The devil has been observing humanity much longer than I have- I don’t know what sins will prove to be venomous in my life. Oftentimes, when I think I am not susceptible to a certain sin, I am placed directly in the cross hairs for it. I am never “too good” for sin- only Jesus is. I am sinful to the very core of my nature; without the saving power of Christ, I am dead in my sin. So I need to kill my sin, mercilessly- because it may seem “harmless” today- but it may not be tomorrow. And I’m not willing to risk it.

Also, God hates sin! Out of respect for Him, I need to kill it! Even if I don’t care if it is dangerous, if it is small, if it can kill- I love and respect the Lord too much to let it stay in my life. It is a beautiful way to love and honor the Lord, but abstaining from the things He abhors and seeking after the things He desires.

I love and hate when Jesus makes me cry.

I am not a very emotional person. Well, that’s a lie….we’re all emotional people, we just express emotions differently. I’m not a person that is very outwardly expressive with my emotions. I don’t process them in the typical feminine way- I don’t cry much, and I hate just sitting around to talk about “how I feel.” Gross.


However, I think it would be in poor judgment to deny that I have feelings and emotions. I often want to go against the typical female persona by asserting my lack of emotional response and hatred of all things pink and chick-flicky. But that does a huge disservice to femininity. My womanhood is defined by Christ, not culture. So I need to not only admit that I have emotions, but also strive to redeem them.

As I began to strive to redeem my emotions and reactions, one question kept coming to mind: What does that look like?

Good question, right?

First, it means that my attitude, my hormones, my moodiness, my “bad days”: those don’t get to determine my behavior and thought pattern for the day. I must fight to take every thought captive to the glory of God- that includes thoughts about others, thoughts about myself, and my thoughts about God. I must know the God of the Bible, not the God of my perception. I also must particularly fight against the enemy’s lies and idols.

It also means that my thoughts and affections should be influenced by one thing, and one thing only: Christ. He should be the only thing that gets to impact my thoughts, moods, emotions, and behaviors. Not friends, not work, not relationships, not boys, not girls, not children, not my situation. Just Christ.

This opens me up to a whole new realm of emotional response. My heart becomes broken over different things. When I truly begin to place Christ at the center, I am less focused on my own will and more in tune with His. I am less concerned about glorifying myself, and more concerned about glorifying Him.

This means that my heartbreak is not over a silly boy and whether or not he pays attention to me that day, or if he thinks I’m pretty. “Charm is fleeting and beauty is deceptive, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (Proverbs 31).

You know what will begin to break my heart instead? The same thing that grieves the Lord’s heart.

The lost.

The broken.

The needy.

I begin to experience the truth of Romans 8:22-25: “For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first-fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience”

When was the last time you missed Jesus. Like, REALLY missed Him? I get to spend time with Him, talk with Him, but there’s some days where I see how easily my sin entangles me, and I just yearn to be with Him. I hate the separation! It feels like a long distance relationship some days. I long for the day when He comes back to get us. It’s one of the divine tensions about living in the “already, but not yet.”

So we wait, and we hope, and we boldly preach and share the Gospel. And you know what happens in this process? My heart begins to change. My emotional expression begins to change. As my affection for Christ consumes my thoughts and feelings, He begins to move me in new and scary ways.

I hate crying. Like, really hate it. But I have cried more in the past year than ever before because the Lord has burdened me with a heart for the lost…and also because some days I just miss Jesus! It sucks not being with Him, and some days I feel the weight of that more heavily than others. Seems a little silly saying that; but at the same time, I’m glad that the Lord would let me empathize with Him in this way.

He has a heart for the lost. He has a yearning to be with us and draw us near to Him. As I dwell on those aspects of God’s emotions, it begins to move my heart and create a response in me that I know doesn’t come from myself. But it also makes His Word come alive, and allows me to feel the weight behind His words. I begin to empathize with Him as I feel the tension in my desire for everyone to know the Lord versus my desire to go and be with Him as soon as possible. But the Lord is patient. And He is gracious enough to allow me to experience even a shadow of His heart.

God > Hormones

Confession: this week, I’ve had a BAD attitude. Some call it cranky, sleepy, irritable- but let’s be real. My emotions shouldn’t control me, so I have to stop using euphemisms for my sin. I have been fighting against a bad attitude for almost a full week now. It has affected my mood, my demeanor, my thoughts, and my motives. I have had to frequently just leave the room disengage from a conversation simply because my attitude was preventing me from contributing to a situation- anything that I would have said would have been discouraging.


That is not how the Lord instructs us to live. His Word tells us to have the same attitude as Christ (Phil. 2:5). That has been a convicting verse for me this week. I have NOT had the attitude of Jesus; my attitude has been closer to the enemy’s- out to steal, kill, and destroy. You know what I’m talking about- those days where you are just cranky and out to bring the world down with you? Your thoughts are not Christ-exalting, encouraging, edifying, or beneficial; they are hateful, hurtful, and focused on me.

So today, I had a long over-due Jesus moment. I got to work early, so I parked in a random neighborhood, turned on the Christmas music, and got in to the Word. The Lord graciously provided 2 Corinthians 4 and 5 for me to chew on this morning. This passage reminds us that we have treasures (the Good News) stored in a jar of clay to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us (4:7). I had been frustrated all morning with my attitude. I wanted to get over it and joyfully serve the Lord and encourage His people with all sincerity. I’ve been serving still, but my heart has not been as encouraged by it. It was quickly becoming a to-do list instead of ministering to me and overflowing from affection for the Lord.

Then I stumbled upon this verse. Frustrated in my own weakness, the Lord reminded me that this body- these hormones that so frequently alter my mood and attitude for the day- is merely a jar of clay. It’s a common vessel. But in those days, the most priceless treasures were hidden in common vessels, where you would least expect it. I have this treasure. Yet my jar is plain, and it is fragile. Yet in its fragility, it points to the strength of the Lord. I would break under the strain if it weren’t for the sustaining power and affection of the Lord! Paul says it best when he states “it is in my weakness that the power of Christ is made perfect; therefore I will BOAST all the more gladly in my weaknesses.”

I am susceptible to sin. Often, I still behave as though I’m enslaved to it. But I have been set free by a Mighty Redeemer- and His blood is more powerful than my emotions. When I don’t want to trust the God I feel, I must trust the God I know.

God's Love Languages

You may have heard of a book that was written a few years ago called “The Five Love Languages.” I haven’t read it yet, but from the summaries I have heard, the book explains that people communicate and receive love in five major ways: acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and physical touch. I must admit, at first I hated the concept of this book. Mostly because it seems super cheesy to ask people “What’s your love language.” Ick. It just sounds so- therapeutic and emotional. I just can’t hang with that type of diction. It’s a personal problem.


However, over the years, the concept has grown on me. As much as I hate the cheesy-ness of it, the five love languages do seem to be a quick and accurate way to discover a deeper truth or issue in relationships. It is super helpful in resolving conflicts, especially among roommates and (I would assume) couples.

As I looked more in to the idea of these “love languages,” the more it began to stick out to me: These are absolutely true of God as well! It’s a reasonable assumption, right? Scripture tells us we are made in the image of God, so it would follow logically that we would express and receive love in a similar fashion.

Still want convincing? (The answer should be yes!) Let’s look at each one.

Acts of service: The Word tells us that faith without deeds is dead (James2:14, 17), those who love the Lord will love His people (Matthew 25:31-46) , and even states that to love the Lord and love His people are the two most important commandments, supporting all the Law and the Prophets (Matthew 22:37-40)! God additionally spends countless verses admonishing believers in both the OT and NT to take care of the orphans and widows, and all those less fortunate than us. Jesus also set the perfect example for this in washing the disciples feet.

Words of affirmation: For God, words of affirmation are ESSENTIAL. First, this is the heart of worship! We are affirming God’s character. We are speaking well of Him. It is also an essential part of prayer. We must start by realizing Who it is we are talking to. If you don’t think this is a key part of God’s heart, read through the Psalms and check out the songs being sung around the throne in Revelation 4:8, 5:9, 11:17-18, 15:3-4, 16:16:7, 19:1-4, etc. Then look at how Jesus spoke of the Father! He always spoke highly of God, and he communed with Him frequently.

Quality time: Jesus made sure to make time to be with God. He would often even stay up all night just to go to a hilltop isolated from the crowds and talk to God. In the Garden of Gesthemene, He used His last moments as a “free man” to commune with God the Father. He could have fled; instead He prayed to God and submitted to His will. It is the same with us! We must spend time with God; we are told to “Pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17), and to “seek His face continually” (Psalm 105:4; 1 Chronicles 16:11). Spend time with Him- not just a Sunday morning.

Gifts: God asks for our tithes and offerings! He wants to invite us to partake in advancing the Kingdom financially, but it is also a way to express our love and affection for God. Scripture tells us that “the Lord loves a cheerful giver” (2 Corinthians 9:7). Jesus displayed this by cleansing the temple (a house of prayer, not a den of robbers- they were misappropriating the funds!), as well as commending sacrificial givers like the poor widow in Luke 21:1-4.

Physical Touch: As you may be thinking, it is hard to express love for a Spiritual Being in terms of physical touch. However, for this expression, we must look to the life of Christ. Throughout His ministry, He performed a lot of healings. If you notice, He would often touch people as He healed them. This didn’t seem like a big deal to me until I realized that many of these people hadn’t been touched in years. They were considered unclean! The Lord cares enough about physical affection (and how that expresses love) that He healed by touching lepers. That is mind-blowing.



Not only can we see how God instructs us to love Him through these “Five Love Languages,” but we also see how He is the perfect example of each one! He knew His people and how to love them well. However, knowing this information about God and how He “receives love” (for lack of a better phrase- we know that God doesn’t need our love, but we’re privileged to give Him our affections), it spurs me on to love Him well.

I don’t like singing, but I know that the Lord loves to be serenaded. So I sing hard! It isn’t always easy to give financially, but I must make it a priority. Sometime, I want to take a nap instead of serve the needy, but I need to get over my prioritization of my own comfort. It may not be easy for me to wake up early and have a quiet time, but I can’t idolize sleep over my time with the Lord. When I see people hurting and dirty and in need, I may prefer to merely sympathize with their need, but I need to experience it; to touch and feel their life, not remain removed from it.

Do you see how we can choose to love the Lord well? How it is expressed in the love languages? In our lives?

This has radically altered how I love the Lord. It spurs me on to deeper exploration of new ways to express my affection for Christ. It also encourages me to be more “God-focused” in my relationship with the Lord. Sounds silly, right? But I’ve realized I’m so focused on how I feel loved by the Lord that I fail to consider how I can be a blessing to the Lord. It’s easy for me to think of ways to encourage other believers- but do I ever consider how I can encourage the Lord? How I can love Him better?

Enslaving is VERY different than killing

As I read through Judges 1 this morning, the Lord began to blow my mind (as always!). Judges is a book written at a rough phase in Israel’s history. The nation of Israel kept pursuing other gods and abandoning the Lord. He would allow them to be over-taken by another nation, then raise up a judge to redeem them after they repented.


In Judges 1, it describes the nation of Israel overtaking several nations and conquering them as the Lord instructed. However, something subtle changes in the text as we read through it. The soldiers started by driving out all of the inhabitants, or killing them. Then, they slowly transition to allowing the conquered peoples to live among them, then using them as forced labor. This is NOT what the Lord had told them to do! They were supposed to rid the land of all the people in order to cleanse it from idolatry. However, over time, the people began to stop taking the Holiness of God seriously. They allowed the pagan to live among them. They quieted their conscience by using them as forced labor. They probably assumed, “If we rule over them and master them, then they will not have any influence over us. I am still the master.” Over time, we see that the Lord is displeased, and the Israelites are led (once again) into idolatry.



Is it not the same with our sin?



How many times have I fooled myself into believing that I have mastery over my sin nature, only to see it rise up and consume me?

The Lord has commanded us to put sin to death. It is not to be toyed with. It is not a joke, not to be taken lightly. And we certainly can never assume that we are master over it. Look how that mindset destroyed the Israelites!

They assumed that making the pagan nations slaves would prevent them from being influenced. But they were sadly mistaken. Judges tells us that the Lord “gave them over to other nations.” They were conquered, and the hand of the Lord was against them.

Romans 1:24,26,28 tells us a similar story about humanity. The Lord “gave them over” to their sinful desires, allowed them to be consumed by their sin nature. That is a staggering thought. Let that sink in for just a moment: He gave them over to their sinful desires. That makes me quake in fear! God forbid that I be given over to my own desires! How terrifying! There is nothing good in me apart from Christ! Which is why I must be completely “given over” to HIM!

I must drive out every remnant of sin in my life so that it will not have influence over me and lead me astray. I must wage war and put it to death.

"Mother of the Living"

When reading through the book of Genesis, there is a ton of information we can drink in.  Studying Eve in particular reveals a great deal about Biblica womanhood and what women were created for.  One phrase in particular that I want to focus on is when Eve is named.  She is called Eve because she will be called "the mother of the living" (Genesis 3:20).  However, if we look closer at the text, we can see that she is named "Mother of the Living" before she is a mother. We can therefore determine that her name is not only referring to her ability to bear children.  In my opinion, it speaks more to her ability to inspire life.  She should invite life from others.  To be the mother of something means that you have produced something; therefore it isn't a huge leap to say that her name infers that she produces life around her.
So what does that mean, and what does that look like?
First, Jesus is referred to as the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6).  In order to produce life in others, you must first know true Life, amen?  Proverbs 19:23 tells us that "The fear of the Lord leads to life." For women to call forth life, we must first be hidden in Christ. We must seek to know HIm and make Him known.  We have to be generous in how much we speak of Christ and share Him with others!  Share what He is teaching you, new facets of His character that you are experiencing, and be willing to be open and vulnerable in order to share Christ and impart life to others.
Let's look at a few examples of what that looks like from Scripture:
In the Gospels, we see that Mary Magdelene is one of the first people to see that Jesus's tomb is empty and He has risen from the dead.  However, if you notice in Luke 24, the women RAN to share the good news with others.  Peter ran to the tomb to check it out- then went home marveling.  He didn't go out and share, but the women couldn't contain themselves!  It was through the mouth of a prostitute that the first people heard the Gospel that Jesus Christ had conquered death and sin.  She brought life by bringing Christ.
The Samaratin woman at the well has a similar story.  She had lived in sin for years and been isolated from her community (hence she was coming to get her water from the well in the middle of the afternoon, in the heat of the day- most likely in order to avoid being seen by others). But once she encountered Christ, she left her water at the well and told the whole town about the living water.  In telling others about Him, she had to expose her shame and reveal the things He had told her about herself- but she counted it as worth it in order to bring others to the Christ.
We could go on and on recalling stories of Esther, Ruth, Abigail, Rebekah, but hopefully you can see the point. Christ is the source of life, so to give life, we must point others to Him.
Another way to give life is to be an encourager. We know that Scripture and the Spirit both bring life (2 Corinthians 3:6).  We should heed the warning from James 3 about blessing and cursing coming forth from the same mouth. Use your mouth to bless the Lord and His children; steward your speech in order to bring life.
Ask yourself, are you a part of the problem, or part of the solution? As Christ's ambassadors and representatives, we should be breathing life in to the situation we're a part of, just like how God breathed life in to Adam. He is our ultimate example! We must be aware of our affect on others and seek to strengthen and encourage.
My favority verse to illustrate this point is Song of Songs 2:2- "Like a lily among thorns, so is my darling among the young maidens."  Awesome imagery!  The stark contrast created between a lily and a thicket of brambles is startling.  That is what we are called to be in the world.  Let's take a moment to look at the science behind the analogy.
All plants are quite self-centered.  They seek only to reproduce and spread thier seeds.  Makes sense, right? Flowers typically do this by attracting bees to thier nectar. As the bee feeds, pollen rubs off on it, allowing it to cross pollenate, which is strengthens the general flower community.  It's seeds can spread because of the flowers beauty, shape, aroma, and availability. It is beneficial to each creature involved in the process.
STARK contrast to the briars.  They seek agricultural success and prowess by stifling all life around them. The thorns prevent anything from coming close enough to wound, they smother out all other life forms in a near proximity, and they make an area uninhabitable. 
We don't want to be brambles!  We want to give life by being invitational, a pleasing fragrance to the Lord, but allowing others to get close enough for us to rub off on them.  We must love enough to be vulnerable to injury. We must be willing to sacrifice ourself to bring life.  Abigail is a great example of this.  Her story in 1 Samuel 25 is a humbling study. Her husband, Nabal, was ignorant and offended King David by refusing to feed his troops.  Abigail hears about this and she rushes to her husbands aid as David and his army come to slaughter him and his entire household. She falls on her face before him and begs for mercy.  She has prepared a meal and ministers to the armies' needs.  And you know what David's immediate response is?  "Bless the Lord!"  She brings life to the situation, and it points him to Christ. She brings both literal and spiritual life!  What a woman!  May we be the type of women who bring life to a situation to the glory of God. May we be women worthy of the title "Mother of the Living."

Jesus the Ultimate Fighter and Forbidden Fruit

In Downline, we're going through Genesis. Mind-blowing doesn't even cover it.  The Lord has provided such a deep well to drink from, which is so refreshing to my broken cisterns. Jesus has been punching me in the throat with Truth after Truth that I have failed to see and experience- He's like an ultimate fighter!  I looked a head at our notes from Abraham's story, and saw something that radically affected me.  A summary sentence said, "Sarai decides to 'help God' and takes charge, and offers her husband the forbidden fruit." 

Throughout the Bible, we see countless women offer up a forbidden fruit: Eve (fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil), Sarai (Hagar), Job's wife ("curse God and die!"), Naomi ("Go back to your homeland").  In offering a forbidden fruit, we are imitating Satan and not Jesus.  Hopefully we can all agree- that's bad.

Which led me to think: what is the forbidden fruit that I am offering?  Obviously if these women of Scripture were offering forbidden fruit, then I can't safely assume this is something that I am immune to.  In what ways am I seeking to undermine God, to take care of myself, seek my own gain, my own security, instead of trusting in the Lord?  What are the things I do that could harm another believer, or lead them away from Christ? How do I seek comfort and security instead of sanctification?

Our wickedness and weaknesses are revealed in the smallest decisions.

The first forbidden fruit I thought of was how I dress.  I'm not sure if you all relate to this, but hopefully you can atleast glean and infer an application for your own life from it.

When I get dressed in the morning, do I consider my brothers? My sisters?  The Lord?  Not nearly as much as I should!  Thankfully the Lord has brought a great deal of growth for me in this area, but it is still a battle I can not ignore. I fight for these considerations to become a natural inclination, a daily victory.

However, my natural tendency is to first consider:

Does this make me feel pretty?

Does it make me look pretty? 

Is it flattering?

Comfortable?

Do you see what's wrong here?  I'm seeking my own glory over the glory of God.

 Not only that, but many times in my own vanity, I trust in my beauty and have pride in myself! (Ezekiel 16:14-15).  In this moment, not only am I seeking my own glory over the glory of God, but I am delighting in offering up a forbidden fruit to my brothers.  I am seeking to present them with the opportunity for lust of the flesh and lust of the eyes.  Surely in my pride I would never want to say it like that! Instead I sugar coat it with "I want to feel pretty" instead of "My intention is to lead men in to lust."  And I have been so deceived by the enemy that I still struggle with arguing to defend this!  I don't typically equate "feeling pretty" with approval from men, and I DO want to feel pretty, lovely, and delightful. I don't think that is sinful. But that must come from the Lord, not a silly outfit; not the lust of a man; not the shape of my body. 

Do you see the sin, the forbidden fruit?

In realizing this about myself, I have been quite humbled to say the least. Exposing these motives of my heart exposes the fact that my flesh still delights in sin.  How shameful! And all of this is revealed through a simple process of selecting an outfit. It seems so simple and harmless that I scarcely used to give it a thought. Yet if I can not honor Christ with the smallest choices in my life, then how can I ever expect to honor Him with the big choices?

What are the forbidden fruits in your life?

What are the forbidden fruits that I am putting in front of my brothers and sisters?  How am I inviting others into sin and not into Christ?  How am I inviting others (and myself) to rely on flesh and not on God? 

This could be a simple outfit choice and our motives behind how we dress.  An outfit may be sinful for me, and not for you; it's a matter of the conscience.  How have I been convicted? Do I listen to convictions?

It could be how we speak. Do I invite Godly conversation? Do I only talk about myself? If/when talking about God, is it for His glory, or my own? Is it to praise Him or to use Him for my own selfish motives? Do I invite gossip? Am I humble enough to let the conversation center around someone else?

It could be how I act.  Am I guarding my heart? Do I try to guard my brother's heart? Am I seeking to be a light and an image bearer of Christ?

Am I seeking the good of others?  Do I consistently look for ways to encourage and serve others, or am I chiefly concerned with my own comfort and benefit?  Do I serve consistently or only when it's comfortable or convenient? How often do I serve others? Do I iniate service or wait to be asked? Am I a helper, or a burden?

I pray that we would lay our forbidden fruits at the foot of the Cross and ask for forgiveness. I pray that our forbidden fruit would be replaced with the Fruit of the Spirit. I pray the Lord would expose sinful motives and wretched hearts and fill us with His Spirit.  The forbidden fruit leads to death, but the Spirit of God leads to life.

Get mad!

This morning at church, the pastor taught on the story from Matthew where Jesus flips the temple tables.  Side note- definitely one of my favorite passages about Jesus.  As we read through the passage, I noticed something I never had before.  As we read the story, we can see that after Jesus flips tables and all that jazz, Scripture says the blind and the lame came to Him.  Two main points:

1)   Notice that merely being angry is not sin. In Ephesians, Paul tells the church to be sure that they “do not sin in your anger.”  Consequently, we can infer that merely being angry is not sin.  Obviously, there is qualifications for this statement.

a.     Your anger reveals what you are passionate about.  Don’t get upset over trivial things!  Jesus was angered because the Temple was meant to be a place of worship, not a place of extortion.  Additionally, the area of the Gentiles was meant to be a place of outreach, where the Jews proclaimed the Name of the Lord to those who didn’t know about Him.  Those two purposes were not being met.  We have a duty to have a righteous anger; we also have a duty to control our emotions and learn what stems from sin. 

b.     Do not sin in your anger.  Anger can quickly become consuming.  Just look at the Hulk!  We must have the wisdom to know when to take a step back and calm down. I would say that applies to both righteous and unrighteous anger.  We must exercise the wisdom and discernment to know when we need to take a step back and calm down.  In unrighteous anger, we must surrender it to the Lord and confess our bad attitude and repent. But we must be carefully guarding our actions in the heat of the moment.

2)   Jesus’ anger doesn’t isolate Him; it invites ministry.  The pastor today made an excellent statement today while talking about our attitude toward churches.  To summarize, he essentially stated that instead of complaining about the problems, we should seek to be a part of the solution.   That is precisely what Jesus did! 

He not only redeemed the purpose of the Temple, but He also fulfilled many of the purposes of the Temple.  The blind and lame would not have been allowed in the Temple; but once they saw the Lord redeeming the purpose of the Temple and restoring it to its original place, it drew them in.  They couldn’t resist it.

A key factor we should look for in our anger is to watch its affects.  Are we working passionately for the justice from the Lord and battling against those who would twist and malign His Word?  Or are we seeking out a personal vendetta?  Is our anger resulting in invitation or isolation?  When battling against injustice, it invites the trust from the ones we are defending.  It builds and establishes relationships; it lets them know that you are truly for them.  If you are anger out of vain conceit and selfish reasons, there is nothing restorative about it.  You seek your own advantage and retribution, not the Lord’s glory.  In the end, that will lead to isolation.

We must seek to be like Christ, both in the cause and the affect of our anger.

Wage war, because Jesus loves you, and He is sufficient.

God loves you.

Sounds simple, right?  But how fully do you believe it? How frequently do you live in light of that?

I’m starting to learn how much I fail to grasp this essential truth in my daily life.  And Satan has a field day with it. 

Not only is it of utmost importance for me to understand that God loves me, but I must also be aware of when I am not believing it. I must know when I need to speak Truth to myself.  The enemy is always seeking to steal, kill, and destroy; he is merciless, unceasing, and makes the most of every opportunity for the advancement of sin.

Which is why I need to be on guard.

A good opponent always knows his enemy.  Sports teams spend hours studying film; generals study other armies’ battle strategies.  You must know your enemy to be able to anticipate him.  We must recognize when our enemy is attacking; we must recognize his lies, his schemes, his tactics.  There are several ways to do this, but I am only going to cover a couple today. 

First, we must familiarize ourselves with his previous attacks. The Bible describes several to us, and we have seen his schemes in our own lives. We must study Scripture to learn the enemy’s schemes in order to defeat him. Likewise, we must reflect upon our own sin and stumbling to determine where we gave the enemy a foothold.  Combining these two methods will give us an upper hand in recognizing attack.

Additionally, we must learn to recognize situations that open us up for attack, as well as lies that the enemy tells us.  Then we can recognize when we’re under attack!  Why is this so important?  If we don’t realize we’re under attack, we can’t fight back!  It sounds simple enough, right?  We’ll see.

I was reflecting on this Truth this morning, and the Lord really opened my eyes to battles I don’t even try to fight, areas that I fail to wage war.  One in particular is insecurity.  Girls especially, I’m sure, have all had that moment where we look at someone and think to ourselves, ‘There’s no way I can compete with that.”  Whether it is with someone we like (who likes someone else), applying for a job, a scholarship, admiring someone’s talent- whatever the situation may be, we have all felt vastly inadequate. 

One particular situation that I struggle with is beauty.  I see so many girls walking around who are either naturally beautiful, or they wear scandalous clothing to attract guy’s attention.  On my good days I’m not phased by it; on my bad days, I wallow in self-loathing and self-depredation.  I think to myself, “There is absolutely no way that I can compare to that!”  But that is a lie, straight from the pits of hell and whispered by the devil himself.

So the first step is to acknowledge that it is a lie.  I MUST examine my thoughts to be sure that I am dwelling on Truth like the Bible instructs us to.  Second, I must replace the lies the enemy wants me to believe with the Truth God has revealed to us in His Word.  When I hear the enemy whispering lies that I am inadequate, ugly, and unworthy of affection, I must know the Word of God and use the sword of the Spirit to wage war.  As this thought crept in my mind this morning, I had to rebuke it, and quote 1 Peter 3:1-6.  My beauty is not from outward adornment, but from the presence of God dwelling in me. My redemption and worth is found only in the Cross of Christ- not the lustful look from some man’s eye.  It is shameful the sin that I seek out.  It is shameful that I seek the attention and praise of man at the expense of honoring God.  May I dwell so richly in His Truth that this is no longer an issue.  Until then, I’m just a work in progress waging war on my sin by the power of the Word.

Invitation or Manipulation?

Alright ladies, just a few things on my mind- get ready for some word vomit.

We recently studied Genesis1-6 in Downline.  Crazy stuff. My brain may be exploding a little bit.  As we went through this familiar passage, the Lord laid a few things on my heart that I want to share.  These aren't necessarily new things, but He is faithful to teach AND to remind us of lessons learned, amen?

As we read through the curse, we see that Eve's section explains that women will desire to rule over our husbands, but we must instead submit to them.  Translation: we want to manipulate each and every situation in a way that will surrender power and control to us.  We don't want to be vulnerable; we don't want to be at the mercy of someone else- even if that someone is God, or a Godly husband.  We have within us a desire to manipulate and to seek and maintain control in most (if not all) circumstances.

Second thing God has been bringing to my attention constantly lately is to seek to be a woman who invites masculinity, rather than forces it or castrates it.  Both can be deadly.  Eve was called to be the mother of the living, a nurturer, a care-giver.  She enhances Adam. She is his help-mate, his ezer-kenegdo, a word used to describe the Holy Spirit's role as helper.  That is one essential partner!  As women, we should try to be this to our brothers! Be encouraging, be helpful, aid him in waging war on the enemy.  Obviously this has boundaries for purity sake, but it can take many forms.  Dress modestly!  It is not any kind of secret that men are physical beings- respect their struggles and try to help a brother out!  Don't be a stumbling block.

Here's where things get tricky: Satan will most definitely use the curse and schemes to trick us, to manipulate God's Word, and to lead us in to sin.  Let's look at part of the curse: As a result of sin, men must work much harder to earn a living, and women desire control.  We can see in Genesis 3 that men have a desire to be passive, and women have a tendency toward trust issues AND control issues. Great combo, right ladies?  We tend to believe that God doesn't have our best interest at heart; we can't trust Him to look out for us, or take care of us- so we decide we should take matters in to our own hands. Whether intentional or unintentional, we try to exert control so that we are not left helpless and vulnerable.  At the same time, men want to be free of obligation and responsibility.  Look how quickly the enemy has allowed us to switch roles!  Women want to be independent anyway, so we will just take over for a boy, rather than invite him to step up and be a man!  That is hard on both genders, and here's why:
Women want that control.  We want to manipulate.  Men want to avoid responsibility, so they're content to let us take over and thus fulfill the curse and believe the lies of the enemy.  But it can get even trickier- even in inviting men to step up and lead, we must absolutely resist the urge to manipulate them in to stepping up. This is especially true in a marriage. We must attempt to create an environment/situation that allows the man to initiate, not one that places him in a position where he can't do anything but respond to a situation you've placed him in.  Proverbs 31 says a noble wife does good to her husband all the days of her life. That includes before you meet him, the days he's out of town, the days he isn't meeting your needs, the days he falls in to sin: you are a benefit to him.
Do we live that way with our brothers in Christ? Do we practice that as single women?  Am I a benefit to my community, or a leech?  Do I invite men to grow in to authentic Biblical manhood, pointing them to Christ the ultimate example? Or do I attempt to manipulate them in to performing tricks for me and performing chores?  God can redeem either motive, but I don't want to be the person He has to work in spite of- I want the be the blessed vessel that is marked by Christ, an ambassador of the Lord, a light in the darkness.  I want to encourage men to be men, and women to be women, to the glory of God the Father.  This masculinity and femininity is not based on culture- it is based on the Truth found in the Word of God.

Family War Tactic

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the body of Christ as a family.  As Christians, we are brothers and sisters.  Different aspects of that relationship have been brought to my attention over the past few months (particularly between brothers and sisters), but one of the more recent ones is how we interact, and our intentions behind those interactions. For so long, I simply tried to not be a stumbling block to my brothers in Christ, trying not open opportunities for sin.   However, God recently showed me that I need to get on the offensive side with my brothers and sisters!  I shouldn’t leave them to fight battles on their own.  Those are my brothers and sisters!  I need to be praying for them on a regular basis, helping them fight the sin that lies in us all.  We have to be for one another. Obviously I won’t know a brother’s struggles as much as other guys would, but we must wage war together.  It is one thing for me to not attack them, but I must also be willing to get in the trenches with them and fight on the offensive. Together, we are more effective against the devil’s schemes.

I was reminded of this today while talking with a guy friend.  We were talking about the tensions that can arise when there is a lot of physical proximity between guys and girls.  In Downline, we agreed not to date anyone for the extent of the program, so obviously, this is something we must be aware of and cautious of.  My friend wanted to be sure to set the precedent that if there was ever any type of situation that may potentially open the door for our thoughts to be led astray, we would be comfortable enough with each other to say something and put an end to it.  We must never take sin lightly or treat it like a joke.  We must mortify it with all the strength provided by the Spirit. And we must assist one another in the battle.  I must be guarding my brothers and my sisters, and I need them to guard me. 

It’s similar to the Spartan war tactic. If you’ve ever seen 300, there is a part where the king tells a man that he cannot fight the battle with them, simply because he cannot raise his shield.  He explains that the shield is an integral part of their defense- each man’s shield serves to protect him and the person next to him.  As Christians, we are the same way!  I should be on guard to prevent the devil from gaining a foothold in my life, but also be looking out for my family.  I can’t let my sisters and brothers fall victim to the devils schemes! And it is so important for us to look out for one another because it is usually easier to see a weakness in someone else than it is to admit weakness in our own selves.  It’s so essential to have the type of community where we can be honest with each other (and ourselves) and name sin as sin, then fight it.  Sin has no place among believers, and we must work together to wage war against it in every facet of our lives.

Eve vs. Jesus

Ladies, I didn’t forget you!  I haven’t ever seen a study examining Christ for a picture of true femininity, but let’s take a stab at it anyway.  First though, let me be perfectly clear- Jesus was a manly man.  He is the ultimate example of masculinity. He wasn’t some pansy, metro, effeminate, girly-man. 
But we are all called to imitate Christ, and God is a beautiful mix of masculinity and femininity; we are ALL made in the image of God, MALE and FEMALE.  We both reflect Him. So it stands to reason that He also reflects both masculinity and femininity well, right??

Well, let’s dive right in.  In my last post, I mentioned that Eve failed to trust the Lord to love her well.  Ladies, can I get an “Amen” on this one? I think we all struggle from time to time with trusting that the Lord wants what is best for us.  We seek out our own pleasures and try to find our own security in the fleeting things of this world.  We try to manipulate situations to our advantage instead of trusting the Lord.  That helps explain why Eve took the fruit and ate of it in the garden- she wanted to be like God.  She felt like maybe He was holding something back.  Now let’s compare that to Christ.  Before going to the cross, He pleaded with the Lord to find another way.  And it wasn’t just a fleeting thought- He prayed so hard he was sweating blood!  That has yet to happen in my prayer life, and I’ve been super passionate in some prayers.  Jesus was pleading with the Lord. Yet He went to the cross with out defending Himself; He could have taken Himself off that cross at any point, yet submitted to the will of the Father, trusting that it was worth it, that it would redeem the Bride.  THAT is the type of trust I want to have in God.

Also, Jesus was an amazing example of a humble servant. As Christians, we are slaves to Christ, and therefore humble servants toward others.  Uniquely as women, we were also created with more of an inclination toward this.  Eve was created as a “helpmate” for Adam.  The Hebrew word for this denotes someone who is of the utmost help and assistance to someone.  Eve was created to encourage and help her husband in a uniquely feminine way.  Christ exemplifies this in countless ways; He washes the disciples feet, He defends the sinners and the needy, He heals the sick and meets people where they’re at.  One time He was talking and it was brought to His attention that it was dinnertime. Instead of sending the people home to eat on their own, He provides food- enough to feed 5000 men and their families.  But, if you look at the passage, there were also 12 baskets of food left over.  Not only did He care enough to serve dinner to the people who came to hear His teachings, but He also made sure that His disciples were fed as well.  God takes care of His people! We need to serve well, trusting Him to provide for our needs. 

Additionally, Eve was called the mother of the living, and Christ is called the Living Word.  He came to give life!  Just as Christ gives life to others, as women, we should be giving life as well.  Are you the type of person that is refreshing to be around? Do you give life, or suck the life from others?  As women, we encourage and give life in a different way than men, but we tend to have a pronounced calling toward giving life.  We usually have a maternal instinct, a compassion for others, sympathy, and encourage more frequently.  We are called to be life-givers! Song of Songs refers to it as a “lily among thorns.”  Is that the type of woman you are?  It’s the type of woman we should strive to be.  We need to emanate Christ in a uniquely feminine way.  Follow His example; point others to Him, and give life!  Whether that’s through encouraging words, actions, or any other method you think of- follow the example of Christ. Be intentional, and fulfill the calling He has on women.  KNOW women of the Bible.  You can check out a general study from the blog here.  But ladies, I can’t encourage you enough to know how God has created women, what the Bible describes as Biblical femininity as compared to culture, and what are admirable qualities of a Biblical woman.  If you don’t know the answers to those questions, that leaves the door wide open for the enemy to come in and distort your view of what it means to be a woman.  It is a high and unique calling, one that the Lord has given specifically to women, and one that we should not take lightly.  We are representing Christ as women; so first we must know Him, then know how we reflect His character as women.  Then go hard for the Lord. J

Adam vs. Christ

As I was studying through Romans 5 this morning, something began to strike me.  In this chapter, Paul spends a good portion comparing Adam and Christ.

Through the chapter, Paul points out the distinctions between Adam and Jesus, with the ultimate point being that through Adam we experience death and sin, but the Jesus we receive grace, redemption, and life.  I’ve recently started a program through Downline ministries, and at our last class the speaker, John Bryson, made the statement that boys take, but men give.  Men contribute to a situation, seek the benefit of others, encourage, and pour life in to the situations they are placed in.  Boys take; they do not add benefit, they don’t offer solutions but instead add to the problem.  They seek their own needs above the needs of those around them.  The combination of these two studies led to an interesting comparison as I read through Romans and my commentary this morning.

If you compare the life of Adam and Christ, we can see a wonderful picture of masculinity.  Unfortunately for Adam, we can also see a picture of a man-child, a boy who is masquerading as a man.  Romans explains that we find our racial head in Adam; his sins condemned us all (but let’s be real- even if we were individually responsible for sin nature, we would all still sin.  The verdict is completely fair. We are all guilty.).  However, this works to our advantage!  Because our sin nature was found in Adam, our racial head, we were able to be justified by one man, Jesus Christ.  We don’t have to live a perfectly righteous life in order to receive grace.  We fell in to sin as one unit, and Christ died for us so that His righteousness may be imparted to us in one unit, for those who believe. 

Essentially, Adam brought death; Christ brought life.  In Genesis, as it lists the “generations of Adam,” one phrase is painfully repetitive: “and he died.”  Through the sin of Adam (and our own sin), we are condemned to death!  But glory to God for Jesus Christ-He has made us alive in Him and imparted His righteousness to us so that we do not have to stand condemned.  Essentially, Adam takes, but Christ came to give life, and give it abundantly.  Definitely one of the countless ways Christ points men to greater authentic, Biblical manhood.

Another way is that stands out is through Christ’s boldness.  Larry Crabbe points out in “The Silence of Adam” that men are called to speak truth in to a situation.  Adam was given the law first and then it was passed on to Eve.  He was designed and created to lead his household, to wash his wife with the power of the Word.  In the garden, the instructions that God gave to Adam were the Word!  It was the only Word they had, yet we see our legalistic nature already begin to creep out in the first couple chapters of Genesis.  Adam and Eve add to the command. God instructs them that they are not to eat of the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.  Yet by Genesis 3, they’ve also said that they can’t touch the fruit at all!  We don’t know if Adam added the command as he was telling Eve, or if they both added it after hearing the true command, but one thing still remains true- they had added to the Word of God. Not their ultimate downfall, but still worth noting.

Additionally, Adam failed to remind himself and his wife of the true command!  Then, after deceiving themselves into additional legalism, they also gave the enemy a foothold in their lives.  They engaged the very enemy of God in a conversation!  I am guilty of this more frequently than I care to think about.  We must not even engage the enemy and give him an opportunity for deception!  Adam failed to speak truth in to the situation, Eve failed to remember the Scripture and trust the Lord to love well, and humanity fell in to sin. 

Yet let’s look at Christ- He spoke truth in to every situation He was placed in.  He WAS Truth.  He trusted in His Father even to the point of death on a Cross. He is the ultimate picture of masculinity (and femininity in a cool way….but more on that later).  Men, model yourselves after Christ, not after Adam.  We have far too many Adams. Man up. Take the lead. Point to Christ and Truth in every area of your life, to the best of your ability.  Lead toward justification, righteousness, and give life in a uniquely masculine way.  Then teach and invite other men to do the same. Imitate Christ.5

Song of Solomon

This past week, I’ve been listening to Tommy Nelson’s sermon series teaching through the Song of Solomon.  One of my faves, by far.   Going through this sermon series again has taught me a lot.  One thing that has really stuck out to me is the purity required in a relationship.  The man in Song of Solomon is consistent in constantly guarding the purity and integrity of the relationship.
This takes many different shapes and forms, and changes with the relationship.  However, one thing struck me about the start of the relationship: the woman starts by speaking well of the man’s name and his character.  When falling in love, we need to fall in love with the Christ within a man, then the man himself.  A man should so clearly emanate Christ that is saturates his character.  It should be the attributes of Christ that attract us to the opposite sex; how well they serve others, the integrity they possess, the way they fight for justice, wage war on sin, and, most importantly, how they honor the Lord.  Those are the attributes that should attract us to a mate (guys or gals).  How do they portray Christ with their lives?  How are they growing more in His likeness?  How am I portraying Christ and growing more in His likeness? In a relationship, how are we growing closer and more Christ-like as we grow closer to one another?

These are important things to consider in a relationship!  We must be able to discern what it is that attracts us to a person, and if it is something that will last.  If it is not Christ that is attracting us to a person, then it will inevitably disintegrate.  However, we must also be attracted to their personality, their interests, their character and integrity.  You could be spending the rest of your life with this person!  You need to be sure it is someone you can live with.  You need to be attracted to things that last.  You must be sure this is someone you can submit to, someone you trust to lead you well.  As a man, you need to be sure that this is a woman you can love well, lead well, and don’t mind sacrificing for.  You must love her as Christ loved the church- which is a high calling.  It’s a calling not given to all men- it’s a calling you must earn.  Ladies, same deal.  If you can’t submit to authority in your life now, don’t expect marriage to be easy!  You must know how to work hard, serve well, and honor others and their authority, despite disagreements.  Which means that if Christ is not the center, then things can quickly fall apart.

Be sure you are looking for the right things, and that you’re doing it at the right time.  Song of Solomon also says “do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”  We need to wait for the right time!  When both people are mature enough to handle a serious relationship, and when life situations are conducive to a relationship.  Be sure you are going in the same direction in life; run hard after Christ, and look to see who is following Him hard in the same way. Then pursue Him together.  

Do I invited Biblical masculinity, or force it?

So, ladies, I’ve been really convicted of something recently.  Examining my behavior, and behaviors of others around me, I’ve found myself asking myself the question: Am I the type of woman who forces a guy to man up, or a woman who invites him to? 

This is a question that I have been asking myself for a few months now.  Though the goal of both actions is the same, the method is completely different.

Let’s look at Esther and Ruth.  Esther was married to a king who had issued an edict to kill all of the Jews in the nation.  As his wife, she seized her opportunity for an audience with the king to plead on behalf of her people.  She told him the situation and pleaded for him to rectify the situation.  She invited him to help repair the situation, and he did. 

Ruth, one of my favorite Biblical women, was also a master at presenting a man with an opportunity to step up to Biblical manhood.  She was a widow who travelled with her mother-in-law back to Israel.  Boaz was a relative who was able to be a kinsman redeemer (a man who would marry the widow of a recently deceased relative to take care of her and provide for the family).  Ruth gleaned in his field and he made sure she was provided for. But he didn’t’ propose.  So Ruth took the opportunity to boldly invite him to step up to his duty.  She laid at his feet on the threshing floor, uncovering his feet.  Pretty bold for the time. And you know what Boaz did?  He showered her with lavish gifts of food and other provisions, then had her leave before the sun came up so that no one could say anything against her.  Then he went out the next day and claimed his right as kinsman redeemer.

These women were pros at inviting men to step up to their Biblical role as men.  Am I acting the same?  Am I inviting men to fill their role and calling as men, or am I trying to manipulate them in to doing it?  I want to be a woman who behaves in a way to lovingly encourages men to step up. However, I can not let the goal overshadow the method- I can not manipulate guys in to behaving a certain way. That is a work only the Lord can do.  But, I can also draw their attention to situations that could use their involvement.  Esther and Ruth didn’t have to manipulate guys in to stepping up- they simply brought something to their attention.  That is a great way to be a helpmate, not a burden.  That distinction makes an essential difference. 

Motives Matter

The Lord has taught me a TON of stuff over the past few weeks.  On my journey of dealing with pride, He has humbled me in numerous areas- areas that I never knew I struggled with.

One theme has been my motives.  I do so many things with the intention of drawing attention to myself!  And my motives matter. They matter a lot.  Why?  Because they reveal so much about the sin in my heart. 

If my motives are to draw attention to myself, then I am working for my own glory.  I am stealing glory from God.  Hurts a bit more when it’s phrased that way, right?  The Lord humbled me greatly by bringing that to my attention.  If I am working to further MY name, then I am not working to further His Name.  How wretched I am!  Like Paul, we can proclaim in all honesty, O wretched [wo]man that I am! Our actions, even if they can be holy, are easily tarnished by sin.  Who am I trying to glorify?  Who am I trying to honor? Am I caring for others to boost my reputation, or am I serving them because I am living by the Spirit to the glory of God the Father?  A question I must ask myself frequently is: would I do this as eagerly if it were not known by others?  Or is it only easy to serve and love others when everyone is watching?  Let’s be honest, it is what we do in private that reveals a great deal about the condition of our hearts. Am I dreaming of glorifying the Lord, and Him receiving due worship and praise, or do I long for my own praise and glorification? Am I working to make myself famous, or God??

Pride and my morning run

I’ve been realizing  a lot about myself recently.  As I transition to Memphis, the Lord has spoken to me very clearly and has revealed many sins I have been clinging to.  A huge one in my life has been pride.  It manifests in numerous ways; once I start to battle one area, it springs up somewhere else.  The enemy is so sneaky!  It comes out so deceptively; I betray myself in to thinking that my behavior is normal, that my motives aren't dark and sinful.

One example that has struck me is my running schedule.  Sounds simple, right?  Where could pride be?  ALL. OVER.
My housemates and I have been running together. I struggled with it at first, and kept telling myself it is because I like to run by myself. But running with them didn’t impact anything!  Why did I want to run alone?  They didn’t impact my pace, my distance, and we just listen to music the whole time.
It was pride.

I enjoy being the “fit” one in the house.  I want to be the one that exercises.  When everyone else is running, that suddenly can’t be my identity.  And when I’m not the one running the farthest- whoa.  Talk about pride!  I wanted to be the best and run the farthest so that I felt better about myself!  I would feel accomplished because I was “doing better” than the other girls. 
But there’s a problem with my plan- I’m not the best. I’ll never be the best.  There will always be someone that exercises more, runs farther, runs faster, and does better. That’s just a fact.  Even world records are beaten swiftly!  THAT CAN’T BE MY IDENTITY.

As I began to process this internally, I began to see the many ways that pride comes out in my life. Continuing with the running example, I would always “casually” mention running in front of others.  Why? To get attention and recognition.  I would run by myself so that I was the only one who could say “I went for a run this morning.”  How wicked is that?!  My pride had almost consumed my exercise routine- imagine the hold it has on other areas of my life!
After examining my heart (which I’ve had to do multiple times), I have realized that I need to be constantly on guard for numerous things with running. First, I must examine my motives in my exercise.  Am I exercising to be healthy, or to be skinny?  To honor God with my body, to have prayer time, to worship God through the miracle of running, or is it so that I can brag about it later and use it to glorify myself  and not the God who created the muscles that enable my movement?

That is a humbling heart check. I encourage you to try it sometime.

My motives are so easily disguised and masked as pure, but underneath the deception lies the sin of pride.

What is the best way for me to fight this sin?  First, I have to examine my heart each day.  Do I want to run just as much if I know that no one will find out I’ve run, or is this just something for me to brag about later?  Am I defining myself by trying to be the best? Am I humble enough to let someone out perform me?

You guys, this is a hard fight.  In order to be successful in this war, we must expose it to the light.  Before my run this morning, I had to confess to my housemate that I was being competitive.  I love running by myself because it gives me private time with the Lord to pray and reflect, but that is often not my primary reason.  I don’t want to share my glory. And, hear me clearly on this (well, READ this clearly!)- THAT IS SIN.  That is robbing the glory that is due to CHRIST, not me.  As women, we often get competitive, especially around boys.  But in Christ we are called to encourage one another, to build each other up, not discourage and stifle one another!  Song of Songs 2:2 describes a noble woman as a lily among thorns- and that is what we are supposed to be. We are not to hinder the growth of our sisters- we are there to be a unique beauty and encouragement to them among a world full of deceit and discouragement.  We are called to help one another thrive! When I only try to glorify myself, I am robbing God of glory, and my sisters of blessing.  I am not here to steal attention from them.  I am called to be secure in God’s love for me; as a result, I am not competing with my sisters for attention or love- that is complete in Christ. I am free to encourage and love by the power of Christ.  It leads to a whole new dynamic among others, and a new humility in my heart.  It is an on going battle, because my pride is ever present.  But it is a battle we must wage daily, lest the devil have any foothold in our lives or our community.

Q2: How much touch is actually ok?

How much touch is actually ok? 
Well, I would like to start by changing the question a bit. I grew up always asking God, "How far is too far?" Suddenly, my junior year of college, I started to ask the Lord, "What is most glorifying to you?" So, in the context of a relationship, we should also ask- what is most glorifying to God? We should also view relationships in general in that way- especially marriage! Marriage is intended to glorify God primarily; the end goal is not the simply make us happy- God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in HIM, not a husband. So, how can we glorify God in our physical relationship? Well, obviously, sex outside of marriage is bad. GREAT in marriage (from what I hear), but sin outside of it. That is the firm line in the sand. And sex, for our purposes, can be defined as any contact with the nether-regions. I would say that contact with a "bathing suit area" is not advocated either. However, outside of that, Scripture is pretty quiet. It doesn't have rules for hand holding, cuddling, making out, etc. But, one verse has greatly impacted my view: Proverbs 31:12, "She does good to her husband all the days of her life." THAT INCLUDES RIGHT NOW. Is your behavior with your boyfriend beneficial to your future husband- whoever that may be? Another question I usually ask myself is "would I be ashamed if a Godly friend/mentor found out what we were doing? Would this be something shameful if the public found out? Would it hurt my witness?" 
But again, there is gray area that is different for each couple. It is all about what is going to lead you in to temptation. Also, be wise and set the boundary a bit more conservatively that what you feel you can handle- because chances are you'll cross the line. Add in a little buffer.
Hope that was beneficial! Be sure to share with your friends if you found it helpful :)