Oh, hey hockey camp.

These past few weeks have been an absolute roller coaster.
I was supposed to help serve at a Christian hockey camp this past week, but I found out a week before that things had fallen through and I wouldn’t be able to serve after all. To say I was upset would be a drastic understatement. I had a really hard time accepting that I wouldn’t be able to serve. I knew that God’s plan was best, that He works for the good of those who love Him, and that He is sovereign. But I wasn’t able to understand why things happened the way they did. I realize it’s not really my right to know why; I realize that God is faithful, and I simply need to trust Him.
But, that is hard. I’m not sure how often you’ve tried this whole “trust” thing. When I have a sneak peek of how things will be going, it is so much easier for me to trust in Christ. But blind faith and trust in my Almighty Provider- man. That’s tough for me sometimes. Particularly when He’s not “following my orders.” I so easily fall in to the trap of thinking that my plans are better than God’s! I am so conceited! You would think that I would have comprehended the truth of Jeremiah 29:11 by now.
And I would probably say that I have comprehended it; I’ve understood it, experienced it, and I trust in it. But it is hard to live in light of it when God’s plans seem to be different than mine. Especially when He lets the devil fight dirty. I am no stranger to spiritual attack. I know that the devil is actively fighting against those who follow Christ. He attacks what we hold dear and tries to make us renounce the Lord. I get that. I’ve seen Satan attack my family, my finances, my relationships, my self-esteem, my identity- and all that has been difficult, but not too terrible. God has always been faithful to give me abundant mercy in the midst of trials. When I first found out on Monday morning that I was not going to be able to serve at the hockey camp, I was so upset. I had no idea what God had planned, I simply had to trust that He would be good and faithful to fulfill everything that He had planned, and that everything He had planned was for my benefit and His glory.
And man, is He good. And quite sneaky. I am currently in Lynchburg waiting for hockey camp to start. I get to serve on the medical team there, and even get to help run dry-lands on Wednesday! He spoils me rotten. But, more than that, He disciplines me for my benefit. He has gently been teaching me to trust Him over the past few months. He is always faithful, and it is so humbling to see His hand orchestrating everything for His glory.
I’m not saying it has always been easy. It is difficult to learn to trust God. But the more I learn about His character, the more I learn how worthy He is of my trust. He is the only one worthy of my trust. I’m a slow learner, but He is a patient teacher.