Dallas, here I come!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11) This verse has been an amazing encouragement to me recently. As I prepare to move to Dallas, it has been reassuring to know that God already knows the plans He has for me. One phrase in particular stuck out to me though: “…to GIVE YOU hope.” The idea of God giving me a hope and a future has been on my mind constantly over the past 24 hours. I found out yesterday that I will not be able to attend DTS this fall. I have been trying to stay neutral and just wait for the Lord’s plan to unfold, but I must say, I was quite disappointed. I know that God is in control, so I trust that He will put everything together in its time. But I had been planning on going to DTS! And now…well, now I have no idea what Dallas will look like for me. And that is more terrifying than I would like to admit. I don’t know where I’ll be working, IF I’ll be working, if I will make friends, where I will find a good Bible study, where I will be able to serve within the community- it’s a little intimidating. But then I read that verse (I have it written on my mirror), and God reminded me that sometimes, in order to GIVE ME hope, He has to take away the hope I have been placing in other things. Unintentionally, I had been placing my hope in seminary. I was finding my comfort there. Surely I would meet a ton of great people at seminary, I would meet plenty of young women who loved the Lord and we would be able to share our amazing experiences with the Lord together; I would have classes and homework to do during the day; I could get a job if I had time, but there was really no pressure; and of course, the ever so popular idea that I may even “meet a cowboy down there,” as so many of my friends have suggested. It was hard to let that go. It was painful to let that go. But then I saw that verse. In that moment, God reminded me that HE wants to be my hope and my future. He loves me and plans good things for those who love Him. He wasn’t holding out on me; He was inviting me to place my hope in Him, a hope that will never fail. That can be painful sometimes. Not because He is not good, but BECAUSE He is good. I am the one that fails- daily. I set up other idols. I rely on them, I work for them, I place my hope in them. They take many shapes and forms, some “worse” than others in the world’s eyes. Seminary isn’t a bad thing! But it became bad for me when I was using it as my comfort. I was ok with moving to Dallas when it didn’t seem so risky. So where does that leave me now? I must confess, it hasn’t been an easy journey. I’ve been struggling with moving to Dallas for the past few months, but had been doing better with it since I had applied to DTS. It’s a really scary thing for me! I don’t know ANYONE down there, and I have NO CLUE what God has planned for me once I get there. I want to know exactly what it is going to look like, but I don’t. Even just this morning I woke up asking God, “Did I just make all of this up? Am I completely crazy? Why on earth am I going to Dallas? What do you have for me down there?” It’s hard to move so far away when I have no clue what waits for me down there. I can’t even fathom what life could be like in Texas. But Scripture tells us to walk by faith, and not by sight. So I will. It’s scary. It’s irrational. It seems crazy. It’s risky. It’s uncomfortable. But it’s my plan. My hope. My future. I can’t wait to see what God does through this move. I’m hoping He surpasses my every expectation; that everything falls in to place quickly, that He allows me to make a powerful impact for His kingdom while I’m there. But even if it turns out to be a painful lesson learned, I know He will use it. I just want to be obedient. And God sometimes calls us to be irrational and crazy. He called Abraham to leave his hometown and travel to an undisclosed Promise Land. Stories like that are particularly encouraging to me right now. I would very much appreciate prayers that I would hear from God clearly as I prepare to move, and that God would be preparing the way for me. And if any one knows of any job openings in Dallas, let me know! :)