Alright ladies, let’s chat for a bit, shall we?
I have found a common theme among women my age: we are obsessed with marriage. Marriage is an amazing blessing from God, but hear me clearly- it does not define you. It is not God’s end goal for your life, nor is it the starting point for your life. I was talking to a friend of mine shortly after she got engaged, and I remember her saying she couldn’t wait for her “life to finally start.” I remember feeling so insulted by that, as a single woman. Being single does not nullify God’s call on my life. Acts 17 will state that God has planned exactly my situation and location in life; He knows where I’ll live, when I’ll get married, IF I’ll get married, where I will work, whose paths I’ll cross- EVERYTHING. He’s omniscient.
I say this because I want to point out something- being single doesn’t define you. It isn’t a punishment- in fact, Paul says that it is a gift from God for people to be able to remain single. But, shortly after, he says that it is better to marry than burn with passion. Marriage doesn’t make you better than others, more mature than others, or more deserving than others. Being single isn’t a punishment, a “cross to bear,” or a phase to endure before life can truly start.
Over the past few years, I have tried to analyze my thinking and bring it more in line with the Gospel. Some areas have been quite successful; many still need work. However, instead of thinking of marriage as the ultimate goal (which is idolatry), we should be thinking of it as a way to glorify God- not just make us happy.
Additionally, being single isn’t a punishment. It is a period of time God is using to shape us and mature us in some ways, just like He will continue to do in marriage. So why don’t we enjoy being single! I have spoken to many happily married friends who have encouraged me to be adventurous and spontaneous while single- it is a convenience that must often be sacrificed in a marriage, especially once you become a parent. As a single woman, my decisions are much simpler to make- the consequences primarily affect me. I don’t have a husband to think of, a family to consider. I am being sanctified as I analyze my decisions and how they affect others, but when you are married- every decision you make affects your spouse. A friend of mine often encourages single people to go on as many mission trips as you can while you are single, because it is a completely different ball game when you’re married.
My point is this: Enjoy being single! How is worrying about if and when you’ll meet “The One” and get married and start a family going to help you? Jesus makes a valid point when He reminds us that worrying will not help the situation or add an hour to our life. Enjoy being single, and allow God to shape you in to the woman He has designed you to be- whether that be a wife or not. Marriage does not define you. GOD defines you.
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