Invitation or Manipulation?

Alright ladies, just a few things on my mind- get ready for some word vomit.

We recently studied Genesis1-6 in Downline.  Crazy stuff. My brain may be exploding a little bit.  As we went through this familiar passage, the Lord laid a few things on my heart that I want to share.  These aren't necessarily new things, but He is faithful to teach AND to remind us of lessons learned, amen?

As we read through the curse, we see that Eve's section explains that women will desire to rule over our husbands, but we must instead submit to them.  Translation: we want to manipulate each and every situation in a way that will surrender power and control to us.  We don't want to be vulnerable; we don't want to be at the mercy of someone else- even if that someone is God, or a Godly husband.  We have within us a desire to manipulate and to seek and maintain control in most (if not all) circumstances.

Second thing God has been bringing to my attention constantly lately is to seek to be a woman who invites masculinity, rather than forces it or castrates it.  Both can be deadly.  Eve was called to be the mother of the living, a nurturer, a care-giver.  She enhances Adam. She is his help-mate, his ezer-kenegdo, a word used to describe the Holy Spirit's role as helper.  That is one essential partner!  As women, we should try to be this to our brothers! Be encouraging, be helpful, aid him in waging war on the enemy.  Obviously this has boundaries for purity sake, but it can take many forms.  Dress modestly!  It is not any kind of secret that men are physical beings- respect their struggles and try to help a brother out!  Don't be a stumbling block.

Here's where things get tricky: Satan will most definitely use the curse and schemes to trick us, to manipulate God's Word, and to lead us in to sin.  Let's look at part of the curse: As a result of sin, men must work much harder to earn a living, and women desire control.  We can see in Genesis 3 that men have a desire to be passive, and women have a tendency toward trust issues AND control issues. Great combo, right ladies?  We tend to believe that God doesn't have our best interest at heart; we can't trust Him to look out for us, or take care of us- so we decide we should take matters in to our own hands. Whether intentional or unintentional, we try to exert control so that we are not left helpless and vulnerable.  At the same time, men want to be free of obligation and responsibility.  Look how quickly the enemy has allowed us to switch roles!  Women want to be independent anyway, so we will just take over for a boy, rather than invite him to step up and be a man!  That is hard on both genders, and here's why:
Women want that control.  We want to manipulate.  Men want to avoid responsibility, so they're content to let us take over and thus fulfill the curse and believe the lies of the enemy.  But it can get even trickier- even in inviting men to step up and lead, we must absolutely resist the urge to manipulate them in to stepping up. This is especially true in a marriage. We must attempt to create an environment/situation that allows the man to initiate, not one that places him in a position where he can't do anything but respond to a situation you've placed him in.  Proverbs 31 says a noble wife does good to her husband all the days of her life. That includes before you meet him, the days he's out of town, the days he isn't meeting your needs, the days he falls in to sin: you are a benefit to him.
Do we live that way with our brothers in Christ? Do we practice that as single women?  Am I a benefit to my community, or a leech?  Do I invite men to grow in to authentic Biblical manhood, pointing them to Christ the ultimate example? Or do I attempt to manipulate them in to performing tricks for me and performing chores?  God can redeem either motive, but I don't want to be the person He has to work in spite of- I want the be the blessed vessel that is marked by Christ, an ambassador of the Lord, a light in the darkness.  I want to encourage men to be men, and women to be women, to the glory of God the Father.  This masculinity and femininity is not based on culture- it is based on the Truth found in the Word of God.