This past week, I’ve been listening to Tommy Nelson’s sermon series teaching through the Song of Solomon. One of my faves, by far. Going through this sermon series again has taught me a lot. One thing that has really stuck out to me is the purity required in a relationship. The man in Song of Solomon is consistent in constantly guarding the purity and integrity of the relationship.
This takes many different shapes and forms, and changes with the relationship. However, one thing struck me about the start of the relationship: the woman starts by speaking well of the man’s name and his character. When falling in love, we need to fall in love with the Christ within a man, then the man himself. A man should so clearly emanate Christ that is saturates his character. It should be the attributes of Christ that attract us to the opposite sex; how well they serve others, the integrity they possess, the way they fight for justice, wage war on sin, and, most importantly, how they honor the Lord. Those are the attributes that should attract us to a mate (guys or gals). How do they portray Christ with their lives? How are they growing more in His likeness? How am I portraying Christ and growing more in His likeness? In a relationship, how are we growing closer and more Christ-like as we grow closer to one another?
This takes many different shapes and forms, and changes with the relationship. However, one thing struck me about the start of the relationship: the woman starts by speaking well of the man’s name and his character. When falling in love, we need to fall in love with the Christ within a man, then the man himself. A man should so clearly emanate Christ that is saturates his character. It should be the attributes of Christ that attract us to the opposite sex; how well they serve others, the integrity they possess, the way they fight for justice, wage war on sin, and, most importantly, how they honor the Lord. Those are the attributes that should attract us to a mate (guys or gals). How do they portray Christ with their lives? How are they growing more in His likeness? How am I portraying Christ and growing more in His likeness? In a relationship, how are we growing closer and more Christ-like as we grow closer to one another?
These are important things to consider in a relationship! We must be able to discern what it is that attracts us to a person, and if it is something that will last. If it is not Christ that is attracting us to a person, then it will inevitably disintegrate. However, we must also be attracted to their personality, their interests, their character and integrity. You could be spending the rest of your life with this person! You need to be sure it is someone you can live with. You need to be attracted to things that last. You must be sure this is someone you can submit to, someone you trust to lead you well. As a man, you need to be sure that this is a woman you can love well, lead well, and don’t mind sacrificing for. You must love her as Christ loved the church- which is a high calling. It’s a calling not given to all men- it’s a calling you must earn. Ladies, same deal. If you can’t submit to authority in your life now, don’t expect marriage to be easy! You must know how to work hard, serve well, and honor others and their authority, despite disagreements. Which means that if Christ is not the center, then things can quickly fall apart.
Be sure you are looking for the right things, and that you’re doing it at the right time. Song of Solomon also says “do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” We need to wait for the right time! When both people are mature enough to handle a serious relationship, and when life situations are conducive to a relationship. Be sure you are going in the same direction in life; run hard after Christ, and look to see who is following Him hard in the same way. Then pursue Him together.
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