We’ve covered flirting and outfit choices…now on to reactions. This is probably one of the hardest ones for me. How does a Godly woman react to a man being disrespectful or crude?
Here is where I’m going to take a slight detour from our character study. The character studies from those women have been crazy beneficial, but I want to take a second to look at the character of Jesus. He wasn’t a woman (I get that), but I want to look at one key event that may help decipher how we can appropriately react to men being disrespectful. (*As a point of clarification: specifically for this point (but also generally for the blog-series as a whole), I am referring to men who are asking a girl out/hitting on a girl disrespectfully, not guys who are asking you out and you want to say no. That is a big, important difference.)
So what event are we going to look at from the life of Christ that could possibly help us when we are being hit on??
When Jesus tossed the temple tables.
One of my favorite stories from the Gospels, not gonna lie. This is one of my favorite memories of Jesus. He wasn’t some pacifist hippie. He exercised discernment in how He reacted, but He would get fired up about the things that mattered. When He walked in and saw His Father’s house being treated like a “den of robbers”- that was not ok. So He did what He needed to do; He redeemed the image of the temple and restored it back to its original purpose.
So how on earth does this apply to us? I’m glad you asked. 1 Corinthians tells us that our body is a living temple, and that we are to honor God with our body. When Jesus saw the temple being treated disrespectfully, it wasn’t ok with Him. He refused to tolerate anyone who would treat the temple like a market place; it was to be held in the highest honor. It was where the Spirit of God would dwell. The temple was intended to remind people of the God they served and draw them in to worship Him.
Our bodies are supposed to do the same thing.
We are temples of the Holy Spirit; He lives in us! We were also made in the image of God. That is not something that should be cheapened and objectified! And please don’t think that I am saying that we can’t appreciate how attractive someone is- but there is a respectful way to do that. Don’t dwell on it. Don’t lust after it. Don’t cheapen it and objectify that person. That is degrading.
Our body being a temple also means that we need to make sure we are treating it like a temple. We need to take care of our bodies and make sure that we are respecting ourselves and treating our body with honor and respect. It was the Jews that made the temple a marketplace after all- ladies (and gentlemen, too!)- your body is not a marketplace. It is not a bargaining tool. It is not bait. It is sacred. It is a temple, designed and intended to honor God. It’s about time we started treating it like that. Don’t act like the woman from Ezekiel 16. Behave and dress with dignity.
Now that we’ve established briefly what it means for our bodies to be a temple, what does this have to do with Jesus tossing the temple tables? Well, we can see that He had a righteous anger when His House was disrespected. He drove out the people responsible, and He began to redeem the Temple so that it could be restored to its original place of honor. I think it is permissible to apply the same logic here.
If our bodies are temples, and people are treating them disrespectfully- we have a right to defend ourselves. We have a right to demand to be treated with respect (provided that we are indeed treating our bodies like a temple). Now, I am NOT saying that we can go flipping people over and chasing them away from us with whips. That may have been Jesus’ flair, but that isn’t quite as acceptable in today’s society.
So how should we react? Be firm and clear. This doesn’t mean be rude. However, that doesn’t always mean to be polite, either. Be clear that you don’t want to be treated that way, or spoken to in that way. Surprisingly, that has worked for me quite a few times. If it doesn’t work, do what ever you can to avoid those situations/people so it doesn’t happen again. Make sure you aren’t encouraging their behavior (a lot of times they’re only looking for a reaction). And be even more firm about where the boundaries are. Jesus was abundantly clear about the way he felt about the way the temple was being treated. Many people would say that it wasn’t exactly a “polite” reaction, either. I think it is occasionally ok to be a little harsh. Sometimes it is the only thing that will get your point across. Let them know that you are serious. If it is a consistent behavior, sit down with them and tell them exactly why you don’t appreciate it.
Another twist- try to use this as an opportunity for ministry. I would guesstimate that a majority of the men that I have ministered to/am currently ministering to were trying to hit on me at one point, but that opened the door for me to share my faith with them. Use all things for the glory of God, right? It’s crazy how God can open doors. Again, I want to stress- don’t put yourself in situations where guys are going to be disrespectful. But if you’re stuck in them, make the best of it. This is a HUGE part of my ministry at work. These conversations have opened so many doors for ministry opportunities. And it has served to set me apart in the work place. They know that I’m serious about my faith; and they know they can always come to me if they have questions. Quite a few of them have. But a lot of it started through inappropriate comments. It sucks, but if God can use it for His glory, then I’ll be thankful for the opportunity to glorify His Name. As bizarre as the situation is.
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