One of the easiest ways to form a clear idea about what a woman of God looks like is to study women of God from Scripture. So that is where we will start. By examining their character and their lives, we should hopefully form a more thorough basis for our idea of how we should behave as women of God. The women we’re going to be getting to know are Sarah, Ruth, Abigail, Esther, the infamous “Proverbs 31 Woman,” and Solomon’s beloved from Song of Songs.
I’m not going to be diving too deep into the character analysis of each woman mentioned for the sake of time and space; I would challenge you to really study each of these women’s stories though! I have been so blessed and challenged by them, and they have contributed in large ways to my understanding of Biblical femininity. But that’s enough intro; lets dive right in.
Sarah/Sarai was Abraham’s wife. We get to see a few different sides of her throughout Genesis. She made some mistakes, for sure, but Scripture holds her in high esteem. 1 Peter 3:5-6 says “For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.” That’s pretty amazing! She submitted to Abraham’s authority, but she still had her moments struggling with the curse. She wanted to control things. But she learned. She matured. In the brief narrative of Sarah and Abraham’s life, we get to know them so much. When they first left in search of the Promise Land, Abraham was still learning to lead well. Scripture tells us that Sarah was beautiful, and Abe was afraid other men would try to holler at it, and kill him in order to get to her. So he told his wife to lie, and say she was his sister. That plan was an epic fail. Fast forward to when God surprises them by informing them that they will have a child…after literally laughing at God, Sara tries to take over and tells Abraham to sleep with her maid servant, Hagar, so they can pass down the family name through that offspring. We’re still fighting a war in the Middle East over that poor life decision. Yet, 1 Peter tells us to be like her. She learned that God is sovereign, and her and Abraham are respected through out the Scriptures. None of us are perfect; we all go through the process of sanctification. But, we need to be teachable. That’s what makes a world of difference.
Ruth: Ruth was such a hard worker! After her hubby died, she stayed loyal to her mother-in-law and helped provide for her. She went out to glean in the field, and did HARD work. Manual labor. She wasn’t some prissy, high-maintenance, helpless charity case. She was a woman. She was able to provide for herself, but also humble enough to be provided for (…enter Boaz. If you haven’t gotten to know him very well, prepare to fall in love. What a man.) She knew how to submit to authority, but she was also able to challenge Boaz to fulfill his full potential. She needed a kinsman redeemer, and he was eligible to fill that position. And once he knew that- he didn’t rest until the matter was settled. They were so good for each other.
Abigail: She isn’t as well known as the other women we’re studying, but I just love her. She is briefly mentioned in 1 Samuel 25, but she has a huge impact. She is married to an idiot and is forced to pick up his mess, but she is so wise! She is described as being “discerning and beautiful.” She ultimately saves the entire household from being killed by David’s troops. Her husband, Nabal, is ultimately killed for his ignorance. David was also quite smitten with her; when he heard that her husband had died, he sent for her, and married her! Talk about making a good first impression. Obviously David’s polygamy was quite misguided, but he knew that this woman would be a source of wisdom and blessing to him. And he had to have her as part of his life.
Esther: She was a hottie. She was so beautiful that King Xerxes chose to marry her of all the women in the kingdom. God ultimately used her position as queen to save His people. Beauty as a spiritual gift? Maybe not, but God can use our beauty for sure.
Also worth noting from Esther’s story is Queen Vashti. She was Xerxes’ previous wife. He tried to show her off to his friends at a party because she was beautiful as well. She refused to come out and be treated like a trophy wife/objectified, and he exiled her. However, Scripture doesn’t speak decisively about her reaction; it merely presents it like a narrative, which leads us to our own conclusions. Xerxes and Vashti obviously had a dysfunctional relationship, to say the least. There was no love or respect (they obviously had not read Ephesians 5! Silly).
Proverbs 31 Woman: Holy cow. Where do I even begin? The good thing is that most of her characteristics are pretty easy to see, since they are essentially spelled out in the passage. So let’s step back and do a general evaluation, shall we? First, one thing that completely changed the way I view my behavior as a single woman was “she does good to her husband all the days of her life.” Ladies- ALL the days include the days before you meet him. Dude. Did that blow your mind the way it blew mine the first time I heard that? It completely rocked my world! The way that I dress, the way I speak, the way I behave, how I represent myself- all these things will affect my husband one day. The woman I am today affects who I will be tomorrow. We can’t just expect to suddenly have our act together and know how to love and submit to God and our husbands if we can’t even love and submit to God today! God is perfect- our husbands won’t be. It is infinitely easier to submit to God and love him than I would imagine it would be to submit to and love a man. Humans are flawed! If we can’t trust God today, don’t expect to suddenly have your act together when you get in to a relationship. (That advice is free. Not really related to what we’re talking about, just a little nugget to chew on for later. You’re welcome.) Additionally, she works hard. She is a blessing to her husband. She helps provide for the family by making wise investments, stewarding the money well, and taking care of them. She plans ahead. She works hard. She loves well. She continues to invest in the women around her. She reflects well on her husband, and on her God.
Song of Songs: I LOVE this book! It is like the well kept secret of the Bible. It is so risqué! But so holy at the same time! Such a delightful picture of the way God designed a marriage to be. Their intimacy isn’t something to be ashamed of- it is something that is to be used to glorify God and reflect His love for us. Just some key verses I want to focus on here: First one- “Why should I be like one who veils herself besides the flocks of your companions.” Whoa. Let’s unpack this verse for a sec. Do you get what she’s saying here? It’s quite bold; and so encouraging. In those days, prostitutes would veil themselves and wait for shepherds while they grazed their flocks at night. It was apparently a lonely lifestyle, so they would be available for “companionship” at night. The woman in this passage is saying, “I’ll meet you somewhere at noon. In the daylight. I will be treated with respect and honor, and behave in a way that is above reproach. I don’t need to stoop to cheap tactics to try to seduce you; I will not behave like a whore. I will be respected, and treated with dignity.” What an amazing example for us!
The second verse that I want to unpack a bit is “dark am I, yet lovely.” In those days, pale was hot. It meant you didn’t have to work; you were wealthy, and could stay inside. This girl didn’t have that luxury. It explains elsewhere in the book that she was forced to work in the vineyard (remind anyone else a bit of Ruth gleaning in the fields?), so she was sunburned. She probably had calluses on her hands. She knew what it was like to work hard, to sweat. She was beautiful by societies standards. But she certainly caught the eye of the king. He was so in love with her. And not just her personality! He loved her body, too! He delighted in every aspect of his bride. And she delighted in him as well.
Third verse- “a garden locked up.” “Garden” is used a few times throughout the book as a metaphor for her body. She saying she has saved herself for him! Her body has been kept locked up, for his eyes only. She is more of a “secret garden,” not a public botanical garden, you get what I’m saying? She was pure and chaste, and saved certain things just for her hubby. A little mystery is a good thing, ladies.
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