The last area I am going to examine in this study will be our motives. It’s easier for me to just try to enforce behavior modification and try to be more legalistic about these types of issues. I want a very simple, easy-to-follow guide on how to fix the problem. Unfortunately, most areas of the Christian walk are not simply quick fixes based solely on our outward actions. Most issues are heart issues. So that’s the final part of the study- we’ve covered some behavioral changes; but at the root of behavioral changes is a heart change. We can’t expect a behavior modification to truly be effective and lasting if it is not a symptom of a deeper change.
So we must ask ourselves- what are my current motives?
What are my motives when I choose what clothes to wear? Am I picking out fits based on what makes me look good? What I feel comfortable in? What I feel confident in? Core issue: Am I choosing what to wear out of respect for myself, and my brothers in Christ? Is that a daily consideration for you?
Confession: when I choose what to wear in the mornings, I used to just go based on what I thought looked nice, and what made me feel attractive. However, that has changed drastically over the past few years. Each morning, I try to consider a few things. First- what message is this outfit sending to the people I will interact with today? Does this portray me as a woman of God? Second- Will this outfit cause others to stumble? Will it be a stumbling block to my brothers in Christ who are trying to fight lustful thoughts? Will it cause my sisters in Christ to struggle with self-esteem issues? Is this outfit beneficial to the church family, or is it going to be a temptation? Third- is this outfit practical? Not quite as spiritual, but you’ve got to consider that! Fourth- Will wearing this outfit glorify God, or hurt my testimony? If you’re having a hard time discerning, ask yourself ‘Is this something I would wear to church or in front of my grandparents?’
I often employ the same considerations when choosing reactions and behaviors. However, behaviors can be a bit more tricky. Different people perceive things in different ways; flirting, for example, is SO hard to get a handle on. That is why motive is so essential! I can’t control the way someone perceives my behaviors, but I can make sure that my motives were pure and above reproach. Do you intentionally examine the way you behave around others, particularly members of the opposite sex? Do you try to guard your heart (and theirs as well)? This is phenomenally applicable during the awkward phase of the co-ed friendship when you are determining if it is JUST a friendship, or if you’re flirting. (I know you’ve been there too!) I strongly encourage you to make sure you are not only guarding your own heart (Proverbs 4:23), but also try to be guarding your friends heart as well. What does that mean? DON’T SEND MIXED SIGNALS. Don’t be flirtatious then say you just want to be friends. Again- I mean don’t intentionally be flirty if you don’t intend to follow through. If you realize that someone is perceiving your behavior as flirtatious (and that’s not the message you want to be sending) then change your behavior!! Examine your motives. Try to protect your brothers in Christ, too. They are fighting a battle; they struggle with sin just like we do. We need to build each other up as much as we can- we already have an enemy out there who is prowling around like a roaring lion seeking to kill and destroy. We don’t need to help him out; we need to help out our brothers and sisters in Christ.
So examine your motives. Are you living intentionally as an ambassador for Christ? As an
image bearer? Do you seek to honor God in everything that you do?
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