The last area I am going to examine in this study will be our motives. It’s easier for me to just try to enforce behavior modification and try to be more legalistic about these types of issues. I want a very simple, easy-to-follow guide on how to fix the problem. Unfortunately, most areas of the Christian walk are not simply quick fixes based solely on our outward actions. Most issues are heart issues. So that’s the final part of the study- we’ve covered some behavioral changes; but at the root of behavioral changes is a heart change. We can’t expect a behavior modification to truly be effective and lasting if it is not a symptom of a deeper change.
So we must ask ourselves- what are my current motives?
What are my motives when I choose what clothes to wear? Am I picking out fits based on what makes me look good? What I feel comfortable in? What I feel confident in? Core issue: Am I choosing what to wear out of respect for myself, and my brothers in Christ? Is that a daily consideration for you?
Confession: when I choose what to wear in the mornings, I used to just go based on what I thought looked nice, and what made me feel attractive. However, that has changed drastically over the past few years. Each morning, I try to consider a few things. First- what message is this outfit sending to the people I will interact with today? Does this portray me as a woman of God? Second- Will this outfit cause others to stumble? Will it be a stumbling block to my brothers in Christ who are trying to fight lustful thoughts? Will it cause my sisters in Christ to struggle with self-esteem issues? Is this outfit beneficial to the church family, or is it going to be a temptation? Third- is this outfit practical? Not quite as spiritual, but you’ve got to consider that! Fourth- Will wearing this outfit glorify God, or hurt my testimony? If you’re having a hard time discerning, ask yourself ‘Is this something I would wear to church or in front of my grandparents?’
I often employ the same considerations when choosing reactions and behaviors. However, behaviors can be a bit more tricky. Different people perceive things in different ways; flirting, for example, is SO hard to get a handle on. That is why motive is so essential! I can’t control the way someone perceives my behaviors, but I can make sure that my motives were pure and above reproach. Do you intentionally examine the way you behave around others, particularly members of the opposite sex? Do you try to guard your heart (and theirs as well)? This is phenomenally applicable during the awkward phase of the co-ed friendship when you are determining if it is JUST a friendship, or if you’re flirting. (I know you’ve been there too!) I strongly encourage you to make sure you are not only guarding your own heart (Proverbs 4:23), but also try to be guarding your friends heart as well. What does that mean? DON’T SEND MIXED SIGNALS. Don’t be flirtatious then say you just want to be friends. Again- I mean don’t intentionally be flirty if you don’t intend to follow through. If you realize that someone is perceiving your behavior as flirtatious (and that’s not the message you want to be sending) then change your behavior!! Examine your motives. Try to protect your brothers in Christ, too. They are fighting a battle; they struggle with sin just like we do. We need to build each other up as much as we can- we already have an enemy out there who is prowling around like a roaring lion seeking to kill and destroy. We don’t need to help him out; we need to help out our brothers and sisters in Christ.
So examine your motives. Are you living intentionally as an ambassador for Christ? As an
image bearer? Do you seek to honor God in everything that you do?
Monday, November 28, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Part 3b: What Jesus can teach us about guys trying to holla.
We’ve covered flirting and outfit choices…now on to reactions. This is probably one of the hardest ones for me. How does a Godly woman react to a man being disrespectful or crude?
Here is where I’m going to take a slight detour from our character study. The character studies from those women have been crazy beneficial, but I want to take a second to look at the character of Jesus. He wasn’t a woman (I get that), but I want to look at one key event that may help decipher how we can appropriately react to men being disrespectful. (*As a point of clarification: specifically for this point (but also generally for the blog-series as a whole), I am referring to men who are asking a girl out/hitting on a girl disrespectfully, not guys who are asking you out and you want to say no. That is a big, important difference.)
So what event are we going to look at from the life of Christ that could possibly help us when we are being hit on??
When Jesus tossed the temple tables.
One of my favorite stories from the Gospels, not gonna lie. This is one of my favorite memories of Jesus. He wasn’t some pacifist hippie. He exercised discernment in how He reacted, but He would get fired up about the things that mattered. When He walked in and saw His Father’s house being treated like a “den of robbers”- that was not ok. So He did what He needed to do; He redeemed the image of the temple and restored it back to its original purpose.
So how on earth does this apply to us? I’m glad you asked. 1 Corinthians tells us that our body is a living temple, and that we are to honor God with our body. When Jesus saw the temple being treated disrespectfully, it wasn’t ok with Him. He refused to tolerate anyone who would treat the temple like a market place; it was to be held in the highest honor. It was where the Spirit of God would dwell. The temple was intended to remind people of the God they served and draw them in to worship Him.
Our bodies are supposed to do the same thing.
We are temples of the Holy Spirit; He lives in us! We were also made in the image of God. That is not something that should be cheapened and objectified! And please don’t think that I am saying that we can’t appreciate how attractive someone is- but there is a respectful way to do that. Don’t dwell on it. Don’t lust after it. Don’t cheapen it and objectify that person. That is degrading.
Our body being a temple also means that we need to make sure we are treating it like a temple. We need to take care of our bodies and make sure that we are respecting ourselves and treating our body with honor and respect. It was the Jews that made the temple a marketplace after all- ladies (and gentlemen, too!)- your body is not a marketplace. It is not a bargaining tool. It is not bait. It is sacred. It is a temple, designed and intended to honor God. It’s about time we started treating it like that. Don’t act like the woman from Ezekiel 16. Behave and dress with dignity.
Now that we’ve established briefly what it means for our bodies to be a temple, what does this have to do with Jesus tossing the temple tables? Well, we can see that He had a righteous anger when His House was disrespected. He drove out the people responsible, and He began to redeem the Temple so that it could be restored to its original place of honor. I think it is permissible to apply the same logic here.
If our bodies are temples, and people are treating them disrespectfully- we have a right to defend ourselves. We have a right to demand to be treated with respect (provided that we are indeed treating our bodies like a temple). Now, I am NOT saying that we can go flipping people over and chasing them away from us with whips. That may have been Jesus’ flair, but that isn’t quite as acceptable in today’s society.
So how should we react? Be firm and clear. This doesn’t mean be rude. However, that doesn’t always mean to be polite, either. Be clear that you don’t want to be treated that way, or spoken to in that way. Surprisingly, that has worked for me quite a few times. If it doesn’t work, do what ever you can to avoid those situations/people so it doesn’t happen again. Make sure you aren’t encouraging their behavior (a lot of times they’re only looking for a reaction). And be even more firm about where the boundaries are. Jesus was abundantly clear about the way he felt about the way the temple was being treated. Many people would say that it wasn’t exactly a “polite” reaction, either. I think it is occasionally ok to be a little harsh. Sometimes it is the only thing that will get your point across. Let them know that you are serious. If it is a consistent behavior, sit down with them and tell them exactly why you don’t appreciate it.
Another twist- try to use this as an opportunity for ministry. I would guesstimate that a majority of the men that I have ministered to/am currently ministering to were trying to hit on me at one point, but that opened the door for me to share my faith with them. Use all things for the glory of God, right? It’s crazy how God can open doors. Again, I want to stress- don’t put yourself in situations where guys are going to be disrespectful. But if you’re stuck in them, make the best of it. This is a HUGE part of my ministry at work. These conversations have opened so many doors for ministry opportunities. And it has served to set me apart in the work place. They know that I’m serious about my faith; and they know they can always come to me if they have questions. Quite a few of them have. But a lot of it started through inappropriate comments. It sucks, but if God can use it for His glory, then I’ll be thankful for the opportunity to glorify His Name. As bizarre as the situation is.
Here is where I’m going to take a slight detour from our character study. The character studies from those women have been crazy beneficial, but I want to take a second to look at the character of Jesus. He wasn’t a woman (I get that), but I want to look at one key event that may help decipher how we can appropriately react to men being disrespectful. (*As a point of clarification: specifically for this point (but also generally for the blog-series as a whole), I am referring to men who are asking a girl out/hitting on a girl disrespectfully, not guys who are asking you out and you want to say no. That is a big, important difference.)
So what event are we going to look at from the life of Christ that could possibly help us when we are being hit on??
When Jesus tossed the temple tables.
One of my favorite stories from the Gospels, not gonna lie. This is one of my favorite memories of Jesus. He wasn’t some pacifist hippie. He exercised discernment in how He reacted, but He would get fired up about the things that mattered. When He walked in and saw His Father’s house being treated like a “den of robbers”- that was not ok. So He did what He needed to do; He redeemed the image of the temple and restored it back to its original purpose.
So how on earth does this apply to us? I’m glad you asked. 1 Corinthians tells us that our body is a living temple, and that we are to honor God with our body. When Jesus saw the temple being treated disrespectfully, it wasn’t ok with Him. He refused to tolerate anyone who would treat the temple like a market place; it was to be held in the highest honor. It was where the Spirit of God would dwell. The temple was intended to remind people of the God they served and draw them in to worship Him.
Our bodies are supposed to do the same thing.
We are temples of the Holy Spirit; He lives in us! We were also made in the image of God. That is not something that should be cheapened and objectified! And please don’t think that I am saying that we can’t appreciate how attractive someone is- but there is a respectful way to do that. Don’t dwell on it. Don’t lust after it. Don’t cheapen it and objectify that person. That is degrading.
Our body being a temple also means that we need to make sure we are treating it like a temple. We need to take care of our bodies and make sure that we are respecting ourselves and treating our body with honor and respect. It was the Jews that made the temple a marketplace after all- ladies (and gentlemen, too!)- your body is not a marketplace. It is not a bargaining tool. It is not bait. It is sacred. It is a temple, designed and intended to honor God. It’s about time we started treating it like that. Don’t act like the woman from Ezekiel 16. Behave and dress with dignity.
Now that we’ve established briefly what it means for our bodies to be a temple, what does this have to do with Jesus tossing the temple tables? Well, we can see that He had a righteous anger when His House was disrespected. He drove out the people responsible, and He began to redeem the Temple so that it could be restored to its original place of honor. I think it is permissible to apply the same logic here.
If our bodies are temples, and people are treating them disrespectfully- we have a right to defend ourselves. We have a right to demand to be treated with respect (provided that we are indeed treating our bodies like a temple). Now, I am NOT saying that we can go flipping people over and chasing them away from us with whips. That may have been Jesus’ flair, but that isn’t quite as acceptable in today’s society.
So how should we react? Be firm and clear. This doesn’t mean be rude. However, that doesn’t always mean to be polite, either. Be clear that you don’t want to be treated that way, or spoken to in that way. Surprisingly, that has worked for me quite a few times. If it doesn’t work, do what ever you can to avoid those situations/people so it doesn’t happen again. Make sure you aren’t encouraging their behavior (a lot of times they’re only looking for a reaction). And be even more firm about where the boundaries are. Jesus was abundantly clear about the way he felt about the way the temple was being treated. Many people would say that it wasn’t exactly a “polite” reaction, either. I think it is occasionally ok to be a little harsh. Sometimes it is the only thing that will get your point across. Let them know that you are serious. If it is a consistent behavior, sit down with them and tell them exactly why you don’t appreciate it.
Another twist- try to use this as an opportunity for ministry. I would guesstimate that a majority of the men that I have ministered to/am currently ministering to were trying to hit on me at one point, but that opened the door for me to share my faith with them. Use all things for the glory of God, right? It’s crazy how God can open doors. Again, I want to stress- don’t put yourself in situations where guys are going to be disrespectful. But if you’re stuck in them, make the best of it. This is a HUGE part of my ministry at work. These conversations have opened so many doors for ministry opportunities. And it has served to set me apart in the work place. They know that I’m serious about my faith; and they know they can always come to me if they have questions. Quite a few of them have. But a lot of it started through inappropriate comments. It sucks, but if God can use it for His glory, then I’ll be thankful for the opportunity to glorify His Name. As bizarre as the situation is.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Part 3a: What exactly does "above reproach" look like?
Alright. We’ve met these women, talked about their character- now what? Let’s see how we compare, shall we?
I’ll start by saying that we obviously aren’t perfect, and these women aren’t either. We’re just going to see what lessons we can learn from them to grow in our process of sanctification. Don’t worry, this will only hurt a little bit ☺
I mentioned in an earlier post that I think it is essential to examine our own behaviors through out this whole process to ensure that we are not encouraging a guy’s disrespectful attitude.
I want to unpack that a bit more. We’re going to start by identifying beneficial behavior, and destructive behavior. Then, in the next post, we’ll try to tie everything together to how it applies to those awkward moments when a guy is trying to holler, and hopefully outline some practical things we can do to a) prevent those situations and b) address those situations when we’re stuck in them.
We’ve already established a few of the basics for beneficial behavior: don’t put yourself in bad situations, be teachable/mature/wise, and display wisdom and intentionality in your actions. We need to be sure that we are taking ownership of any responsibility we have in a particular situation, but we also need to make sure we aren’t taking the entire burden upon ourselves. This is a pet peeve of mine, particularly when it comes to modesty/lust issues. I definitely encourage helping out our brothers in Christ. I realize that this struggle is so much harder than I know, and I want to help my brothers in any way that I can. I pray that my brothers in Christ know that. I am not here to make you stumble. But, having said that- men: OWN YOUR OWN STRUGGLE. MAN UP AND LEARN TO FIGHT TEMPTATION. Don’t push the responsibility on us- we’ve got our own struggles we have to deal with. I can’t fight your battle. I won’t fight your battle for you.
So when I say “examine our own behaviors,” what exactly does that mean? What does it look like to behave in a way that is “above reproach” and honoring to God? Here’s where we’ll start to get in to the meat of the application; so far it’s mostly been gathering the info- now it’s time for interpretation and application. Strap on your big girl pants….here we go.
First, “above reproach”- does that seem slightly ambiguous to anyone else?? This is one of the awesome/frustrating things with Scripture. It’s so awesome because it allows the Scripture to remain dynamic and applicable, despite the fact that it was written thousands of years ago. That is also where it becomes frustrating….it isn’t spelled out for us. As humans, we typically like to be legalistic. We want a “to-do” list that will spell out exactly what is expected of us. We want to know what we have to do to get by. That way we don’t have to do more than the bare minimum, right? WRONG. The “bare minimum” doesn’t apply here! We usually find ourselves asking what we can get away with, or what qualifies as “wrong” and “sinful.” We want to know how close we can get to the line. We fail to realize that we are asking the wrong question. Instead of asking “is it wrong?” we should start asking “is this beneficial?” It conveys a total attitude change! Instead of seeing how much I can get away with without getting in to trouble, I start to evaluate how much more I can be doing to glorify God. Completely different attitude. And that attitude will make a world of difference.
So to behave in a way that is “above reproach” should be shaped by asking the question “is this honoring to God?” When I think of something that is above reproach, I think of something that no one can find fault with, something that is blameless. That is such a high standard! Yet it’s the standard we are told to strive for. But don’t be discouraged! The Gospel is full of grace, not guilt. God knows that we are not perfect; He doesn’t expect us to be. But, He does want us to strive for it. Constantly be evaluating your behavior to see where you aren’t reflecting Christ’s character.
However, this gets really tricky when we start to apply it to flirting and outfit choices, am I right, ladies? Even today as I’m choosing an outfit for work, I’m struggling with choosing dresses that aren’t too short, pants that aren’t too tight, shirts that aren’t too low, or too tight, but also can’t be too loose where they may leave a gap open guys to peak in if I lean forward- it’s DIFFICULT. Because I don’t want to have to wear a trash bag and dress like a blimp- because even then some guys may still be lusting! Some guys are just going to lust, no matter what I am wearing. So I have to choose something that is respectable, but also need to accept that I can’t prevent any and all lust from occurring. I just have to evaluate my motives, my outfit choices, and my behavior.
Same for flirting- it’s different for everybody. How should we behave in a way that’s above reproach?? Well, that’s different for each relationship. (Difficult, I know. Determining what is “above reproach” is pretty brutal- but SO worth it. Please don’t forget that. This is a lesson that is essential in our Christian walk; we need to be able to analyze Scripture to determine if our behavior lines up with the faith we profess. Sorry for the tangent- back to flirting.) It’s specific to each relationship. There are some general boundaries that you may want to enforce across the board though. For example, I don’t pray alone with a guy, nor do I hang out with them alone unless I'm ok with it being a date. For some people, that may seem extremely legalistic (I thought it was when it was first suggested to me). But I can tell you- I have found it to be insanely beneficial. Pray and ask God to show you which behaviors you need to be changing. I had to be a lot more intentional with how I talk with people- I usually touch the arm of the person I am talking to, or I’ll use a lot of nicknames. I have to be really cautious about how much I do that, especially when talking to guys. I need to guard my heart (Proverbs 4:23), but I also need to help him guard his heart as well. But different people perceive things a different way, so you have to be able to gauge your behavior, and alter it when necessary. Be cautious about what conversations you have with guys, how you dress around them, how you behave around them, and also when/where you talk with them. Use discretion. Seek wise counsel. Get in the Word.
I’ll start by saying that we obviously aren’t perfect, and these women aren’t either. We’re just going to see what lessons we can learn from them to grow in our process of sanctification. Don’t worry, this will only hurt a little bit ☺
I mentioned in an earlier post that I think it is essential to examine our own behaviors through out this whole process to ensure that we are not encouraging a guy’s disrespectful attitude.
I want to unpack that a bit more. We’re going to start by identifying beneficial behavior, and destructive behavior. Then, in the next post, we’ll try to tie everything together to how it applies to those awkward moments when a guy is trying to holler, and hopefully outline some practical things we can do to a) prevent those situations and b) address those situations when we’re stuck in them.
We’ve already established a few of the basics for beneficial behavior: don’t put yourself in bad situations, be teachable/mature/wise, and display wisdom and intentionality in your actions. We need to be sure that we are taking ownership of any responsibility we have in a particular situation, but we also need to make sure we aren’t taking the entire burden upon ourselves. This is a pet peeve of mine, particularly when it comes to modesty/lust issues. I definitely encourage helping out our brothers in Christ. I realize that this struggle is so much harder than I know, and I want to help my brothers in any way that I can. I pray that my brothers in Christ know that. I am not here to make you stumble. But, having said that- men: OWN YOUR OWN STRUGGLE. MAN UP AND LEARN TO FIGHT TEMPTATION. Don’t push the responsibility on us- we’ve got our own struggles we have to deal with. I can’t fight your battle. I won’t fight your battle for you.
So when I say “examine our own behaviors,” what exactly does that mean? What does it look like to behave in a way that is “above reproach” and honoring to God? Here’s where we’ll start to get in to the meat of the application; so far it’s mostly been gathering the info- now it’s time for interpretation and application. Strap on your big girl pants….here we go.
First, “above reproach”- does that seem slightly ambiguous to anyone else?? This is one of the awesome/frustrating things with Scripture. It’s so awesome because it allows the Scripture to remain dynamic and applicable, despite the fact that it was written thousands of years ago. That is also where it becomes frustrating….it isn’t spelled out for us. As humans, we typically like to be legalistic. We want a “to-do” list that will spell out exactly what is expected of us. We want to know what we have to do to get by. That way we don’t have to do more than the bare minimum, right? WRONG. The “bare minimum” doesn’t apply here! We usually find ourselves asking what we can get away with, or what qualifies as “wrong” and “sinful.” We want to know how close we can get to the line. We fail to realize that we are asking the wrong question. Instead of asking “is it wrong?” we should start asking “is this beneficial?” It conveys a total attitude change! Instead of seeing how much I can get away with without getting in to trouble, I start to evaluate how much more I can be doing to glorify God. Completely different attitude. And that attitude will make a world of difference.
So to behave in a way that is “above reproach” should be shaped by asking the question “is this honoring to God?” When I think of something that is above reproach, I think of something that no one can find fault with, something that is blameless. That is such a high standard! Yet it’s the standard we are told to strive for. But don’t be discouraged! The Gospel is full of grace, not guilt. God knows that we are not perfect; He doesn’t expect us to be. But, He does want us to strive for it. Constantly be evaluating your behavior to see where you aren’t reflecting Christ’s character.
However, this gets really tricky when we start to apply it to flirting and outfit choices, am I right, ladies? Even today as I’m choosing an outfit for work, I’m struggling with choosing dresses that aren’t too short, pants that aren’t too tight, shirts that aren’t too low, or too tight, but also can’t be too loose where they may leave a gap open guys to peak in if I lean forward- it’s DIFFICULT. Because I don’t want to have to wear a trash bag and dress like a blimp- because even then some guys may still be lusting! Some guys are just going to lust, no matter what I am wearing. So I have to choose something that is respectable, but also need to accept that I can’t prevent any and all lust from occurring. I just have to evaluate my motives, my outfit choices, and my behavior.
Same for flirting- it’s different for everybody. How should we behave in a way that’s above reproach?? Well, that’s different for each relationship. (Difficult, I know. Determining what is “above reproach” is pretty brutal- but SO worth it. Please don’t forget that. This is a lesson that is essential in our Christian walk; we need to be able to analyze Scripture to determine if our behavior lines up with the faith we profess. Sorry for the tangent- back to flirting.) It’s specific to each relationship. There are some general boundaries that you may want to enforce across the board though. For example, I don’t pray alone with a guy, nor do I hang out with them alone unless I'm ok with it being a date. For some people, that may seem extremely legalistic (I thought it was when it was first suggested to me). But I can tell you- I have found it to be insanely beneficial. Pray and ask God to show you which behaviors you need to be changing. I had to be a lot more intentional with how I talk with people- I usually touch the arm of the person I am talking to, or I’ll use a lot of nicknames. I have to be really cautious about how much I do that, especially when talking to guys. I need to guard my heart (Proverbs 4:23), but I also need to help him guard his heart as well. But different people perceive things a different way, so you have to be able to gauge your behavior, and alter it when necessary. Be cautious about what conversations you have with guys, how you dress around them, how you behave around them, and also when/where you talk with them. Use discretion. Seek wise counsel. Get in the Word.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Part 2b: Attributes of Godly Women
One of the most important things I’ve learned through this struggle (and the third thing we can learn from these women) is that I am only responsible for my own actions; I cannot control the actions or thoughts of those around me. I have to constantly remind myself of this when I deal with guys being disrespectful. My automatic reaction is to blame myself. To be clear, I think it is essential that I examine my own behaviors thoroughly. I reflect back on what I’ve said, the way I’ve behaved, what I am wearing, etc. But sometimes, men are just going to be dogs. Just calling a spade a spade. You can be behaving in a way that is pure, modest, and above reproach- yet a guy will be disrespectful.
And this can manifest in so many different ways! I think it is wise to avoid situations that may invite guys to be disrespectful, but sometimes things just happen. And you’re stuck. This happens all the time! I’ll be at work, or studying in a coffeeshop, on a run, driving, shopping, crossing the street, walking around campus- anything- and then there’s that guy that’s trying to holler. That guy. We’ve all had to deal with him. The guy shouting from a car window as he drives by, the creeper that traps you while you’re sitting somewhere by yourself, the guy trying to be more than just a customer while you’re stuck at work. He’s disrespectful, rude, crude, and makes you feel more like a piece of meat than a lady.
I really have to pray through how I deal with “this guy.” I’ve got to be honest, I have such a hard time trying to love this type of guy! I want to be rude, disrespectful, and do whatever I can to get this guy out of my face, pronto.
But then it hit me one day: this guy- this obnoxious guy trying to holler at anything with two X chromosomes- this guy is still a child of God. He is still a mission field. He could one day be my brother in Christ (or may undergo some serious progress in his process of sanctification).
Now, that does not mean that I let this guy get away with anything. This means that I change my attitude; I do not respond out of anger and malice. I respond firmly and clearly, out of love. It doesn’t mean that I am a doormat and let him talk to me however he wants. There are still boundaries. It is not okay for guys to talk to me a certain way, look at me a certain way, and use me to satisfy their lust problem. I am here to glorify God, not be dragged in to their sin struggles.
Fourth, it is not a sin to be attractive. One thing that I LOVED about the character study of these women in Scripture is that almost all of them were described as being beautiful. I think that this is something that, as Christians, we sometimes have a distorted perception of. In the name of modesty, we are sometimes a bit misguided. Girls end up constantly looking busted, pitted out, and to’ up! …but "it’s ok, because they’re only doing it to be 'modest,' right?" Modesty is not synonymous with ugly; appealing is not synonymous with inappropriate. It is ok to be pretty! Just don’t squander it! Ezekiel 16 uses the analogy of an adulterous bride for the church; at one point it describes how she has used the beauty that was perfected through the Lord to play the whore. She trusted in her beauty, then gave that beauty to any passerby. That is when beauty becomes a problem- when it is an idol.
Scripture also warns us that beauty is only temporary in Proverbs 31 and again in 1 Peter. It says our beauty should come from our “inner selves.”
Scripture is clear that we need to not rely on our beauty or let it become an idol; but it is also clear that beauty is not a sin. In fact, almost every woman that we’ve studied was described as beautiful. Don’t feel guilty about being attractive; God can use that. He used it for so many women in the Bible already! Esther was made queen because she was so pretty! Don’t sell God short on the things He can use to glorify His Name.
And this can manifest in so many different ways! I think it is wise to avoid situations that may invite guys to be disrespectful, but sometimes things just happen. And you’re stuck. This happens all the time! I’ll be at work, or studying in a coffeeshop, on a run, driving, shopping, crossing the street, walking around campus- anything- and then there’s that guy that’s trying to holler. That guy. We’ve all had to deal with him. The guy shouting from a car window as he drives by, the creeper that traps you while you’re sitting somewhere by yourself, the guy trying to be more than just a customer while you’re stuck at work. He’s disrespectful, rude, crude, and makes you feel more like a piece of meat than a lady.
I really have to pray through how I deal with “this guy.” I’ve got to be honest, I have such a hard time trying to love this type of guy! I want to be rude, disrespectful, and do whatever I can to get this guy out of my face, pronto.
But then it hit me one day: this guy- this obnoxious guy trying to holler at anything with two X chromosomes- this guy is still a child of God. He is still a mission field. He could one day be my brother in Christ (or may undergo some serious progress in his process of sanctification).
Now, that does not mean that I let this guy get away with anything. This means that I change my attitude; I do not respond out of anger and malice. I respond firmly and clearly, out of love. It doesn’t mean that I am a doormat and let him talk to me however he wants. There are still boundaries. It is not okay for guys to talk to me a certain way, look at me a certain way, and use me to satisfy their lust problem. I am here to glorify God, not be dragged in to their sin struggles.
Fourth, it is not a sin to be attractive. One thing that I LOVED about the character study of these women in Scripture is that almost all of them were described as being beautiful. I think that this is something that, as Christians, we sometimes have a distorted perception of. In the name of modesty, we are sometimes a bit misguided. Girls end up constantly looking busted, pitted out, and to’ up! …but "it’s ok, because they’re only doing it to be 'modest,' right?" Modesty is not synonymous with ugly; appealing is not synonymous with inappropriate. It is ok to be pretty! Just don’t squander it! Ezekiel 16 uses the analogy of an adulterous bride for the church; at one point it describes how she has used the beauty that was perfected through the Lord to play the whore. She trusted in her beauty, then gave that beauty to any passerby. That is when beauty becomes a problem- when it is an idol.
Scripture also warns us that beauty is only temporary in Proverbs 31 and again in 1 Peter. It says our beauty should come from our “inner selves.”
Scripture is clear that we need to not rely on our beauty or let it become an idol; but it is also clear that beauty is not a sin. In fact, almost every woman that we’ve studied was described as beautiful. Don’t feel guilty about being attractive; God can use that. He used it for so many women in the Bible already! Esther was made queen because she was so pretty! Don’t sell God short on the things He can use to glorify His Name.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Part 2a: Attributes of Godly Women
Now that we’ve established a general character study and background of each woman, let’s begin to dive a little deeper. Hopefully we would agree that, for the most part, these women mentioned in Scripture can teach us valuable lessons about what it means to be a woman of God. As we study them more in depth and get to know each one a bit better, we can begin to understand this whole “Biblical femininity” thing more thoroughly.
Each woman offers valuable lessons for us. There are so many lessons we can learn from each of them, but for now, we’ll stick to just a few.
Most of the women show us a great deal about being cautious about the authority we submit to. Not only is this applicable to marriage, but it is also phenomenally applicable to single ladies too. First, if we aren’t able to submit to Christ and His leadership, why on earth would we think that we are ready to submit to our husband’s leadership? Second, we must learn to recognize Christ-like leadership, especially when it comes to relationships. When theses women submitted to ungodly/unwise authority in their lives, it made for some very difficult situations for them. Sarah and Abraham could have been killed because of Abraham’s silly plot; Esther risked her life in an attempt to plead on behalf of her people; Ruth had to resort to manual labor to provide for her and her mother-in-law; Abigail (along with her entire household) was almost killed because of her husband’s pride and ignorance. Yet the women in Proverbs 31 and Song of Songs are exuberantly satisfied in their marriages. They were able to respect their husbands, because their husbands were worth respecting! But if we aren’t intimately familiar with the way the Christ leads us and loves us, how can we possibly recognize the way a man can lead and love like Christ? And if we can’t recognize a man of God, we most likely won’t marry a man of God.
Second, almost all of these women were teachable, mature, and wise. These are huge indicators of a Godly woman. Are we willing to accept rebuke, and learn from it? This is one thing that I have dealt with a great deal in striving for modesty. I often say “without Jesus, I would totally be Ke$ha,” but it is SO true! It has taken me a long time to acquire a firm definition of “modesty.” I’ve had to seek counsel, ask friends “is this appropriate?” and learn to accept rebuke. But this whole struggle would be pointless if I weren’t teachable! Being teachable is how you gain wisdom and maturity; if you can’t learn, how do you expect to grow in maturity and wisdom? And if you aren’t growing in maturity and wisdom, how can you expect to be a Godly person?
Each woman offers valuable lessons for us. There are so many lessons we can learn from each of them, but for now, we’ll stick to just a few.
Most of the women show us a great deal about being cautious about the authority we submit to. Not only is this applicable to marriage, but it is also phenomenally applicable to single ladies too. First, if we aren’t able to submit to Christ and His leadership, why on earth would we think that we are ready to submit to our husband’s leadership? Second, we must learn to recognize Christ-like leadership, especially when it comes to relationships. When theses women submitted to ungodly/unwise authority in their lives, it made for some very difficult situations for them. Sarah and Abraham could have been killed because of Abraham’s silly plot; Esther risked her life in an attempt to plead on behalf of her people; Ruth had to resort to manual labor to provide for her and her mother-in-law; Abigail (along with her entire household) was almost killed because of her husband’s pride and ignorance. Yet the women in Proverbs 31 and Song of Songs are exuberantly satisfied in their marriages. They were able to respect their husbands, because their husbands were worth respecting! But if we aren’t intimately familiar with the way the Christ leads us and loves us, how can we possibly recognize the way a man can lead and love like Christ? And if we can’t recognize a man of God, we most likely won’t marry a man of God.
Second, almost all of these women were teachable, mature, and wise. These are huge indicators of a Godly woman. Are we willing to accept rebuke, and learn from it? This is one thing that I have dealt with a great deal in striving for modesty. I often say “without Jesus, I would totally be Ke$ha,” but it is SO true! It has taken me a long time to acquire a firm definition of “modesty.” I’ve had to seek counsel, ask friends “is this appropriate?” and learn to accept rebuke. But this whole struggle would be pointless if I weren’t teachable! Being teachable is how you gain wisdom and maturity; if you can’t learn, how do you expect to grow in maturity and wisdom? And if you aren’t growing in maturity and wisdom, how can you expect to be a Godly person?
Friday, November 4, 2011
Step 1: Character Study
One of the easiest ways to form a clear idea about what a woman of God looks like is to study women of God from Scripture. So that is where we will start. By examining their character and their lives, we should hopefully form a more thorough basis for our idea of how we should behave as women of God. The women we’re going to be getting to know are Sarah, Ruth, Abigail, Esther, the infamous “Proverbs 31 Woman,” and Solomon’s beloved from Song of Songs.
I’m not going to be diving too deep into the character analysis of each woman mentioned for the sake of time and space; I would challenge you to really study each of these women’s stories though! I have been so blessed and challenged by them, and they have contributed in large ways to my understanding of Biblical femininity. But that’s enough intro; lets dive right in.
Sarah/Sarai was Abraham’s wife. We get to see a few different sides of her throughout Genesis. She made some mistakes, for sure, but Scripture holds her in high esteem. 1 Peter 3:5-6 says “For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.” That’s pretty amazing! She submitted to Abraham’s authority, but she still had her moments struggling with the curse. She wanted to control things. But she learned. She matured. In the brief narrative of Sarah and Abraham’s life, we get to know them so much. When they first left in search of the Promise Land, Abraham was still learning to lead well. Scripture tells us that Sarah was beautiful, and Abe was afraid other men would try to holler at it, and kill him in order to get to her. So he told his wife to lie, and say she was his sister. That plan was an epic fail. Fast forward to when God surprises them by informing them that they will have a child…after literally laughing at God, Sara tries to take over and tells Abraham to sleep with her maid servant, Hagar, so they can pass down the family name through that offspring. We’re still fighting a war in the Middle East over that poor life decision. Yet, 1 Peter tells us to be like her. She learned that God is sovereign, and her and Abraham are respected through out the Scriptures. None of us are perfect; we all go through the process of sanctification. But, we need to be teachable. That’s what makes a world of difference.
Ruth: Ruth was such a hard worker! After her hubby died, she stayed loyal to her mother-in-law and helped provide for her. She went out to glean in the field, and did HARD work. Manual labor. She wasn’t some prissy, high-maintenance, helpless charity case. She was a woman. She was able to provide for herself, but also humble enough to be provided for (…enter Boaz. If you haven’t gotten to know him very well, prepare to fall in love. What a man.) She knew how to submit to authority, but she was also able to challenge Boaz to fulfill his full potential. She needed a kinsman redeemer, and he was eligible to fill that position. And once he knew that- he didn’t rest until the matter was settled. They were so good for each other.
Abigail: She isn’t as well known as the other women we’re studying, but I just love her. She is briefly mentioned in 1 Samuel 25, but she has a huge impact. She is married to an idiot and is forced to pick up his mess, but she is so wise! She is described as being “discerning and beautiful.” She ultimately saves the entire household from being killed by David’s troops. Her husband, Nabal, is ultimately killed for his ignorance. David was also quite smitten with her; when he heard that her husband had died, he sent for her, and married her! Talk about making a good first impression. Obviously David’s polygamy was quite misguided, but he knew that this woman would be a source of wisdom and blessing to him. And he had to have her as part of his life.
Esther: She was a hottie. She was so beautiful that King Xerxes chose to marry her of all the women in the kingdom. God ultimately used her position as queen to save His people. Beauty as a spiritual gift? Maybe not, but God can use our beauty for sure.
Also worth noting from Esther’s story is Queen Vashti. She was Xerxes’ previous wife. He tried to show her off to his friends at a party because she was beautiful as well. She refused to come out and be treated like a trophy wife/objectified, and he exiled her. However, Scripture doesn’t speak decisively about her reaction; it merely presents it like a narrative, which leads us to our own conclusions. Xerxes and Vashti obviously had a dysfunctional relationship, to say the least. There was no love or respect (they obviously had not read Ephesians 5! Silly).
Proverbs 31 Woman: Holy cow. Where do I even begin? The good thing is that most of her characteristics are pretty easy to see, since they are essentially spelled out in the passage. So let’s step back and do a general evaluation, shall we? First, one thing that completely changed the way I view my behavior as a single woman was “she does good to her husband all the days of her life.” Ladies- ALL the days include the days before you meet him. Dude. Did that blow your mind the way it blew mine the first time I heard that? It completely rocked my world! The way that I dress, the way I speak, the way I behave, how I represent myself- all these things will affect my husband one day. The woman I am today affects who I will be tomorrow. We can’t just expect to suddenly have our act together and know how to love and submit to God and our husbands if we can’t even love and submit to God today! God is perfect- our husbands won’t be. It is infinitely easier to submit to God and love him than I would imagine it would be to submit to and love a man. Humans are flawed! If we can’t trust God today, don’t expect to suddenly have your act together when you get in to a relationship. (That advice is free. Not really related to what we’re talking about, just a little nugget to chew on for later. You’re welcome.) Additionally, she works hard. She is a blessing to her husband. She helps provide for the family by making wise investments, stewarding the money well, and taking care of them. She plans ahead. She works hard. She loves well. She continues to invest in the women around her. She reflects well on her husband, and on her God.
Song of Songs: I LOVE this book! It is like the well kept secret of the Bible. It is so risqué! But so holy at the same time! Such a delightful picture of the way God designed a marriage to be. Their intimacy isn’t something to be ashamed of- it is something that is to be used to glorify God and reflect His love for us. Just some key verses I want to focus on here: First one- “Why should I be like one who veils herself besides the flocks of your companions.” Whoa. Let’s unpack this verse for a sec. Do you get what she’s saying here? It’s quite bold; and so encouraging. In those days, prostitutes would veil themselves and wait for shepherds while they grazed their flocks at night. It was apparently a lonely lifestyle, so they would be available for “companionship” at night. The woman in this passage is saying, “I’ll meet you somewhere at noon. In the daylight. I will be treated with respect and honor, and behave in a way that is above reproach. I don’t need to stoop to cheap tactics to try to seduce you; I will not behave like a whore. I will be respected, and treated with dignity.” What an amazing example for us!
The second verse that I want to unpack a bit is “dark am I, yet lovely.” In those days, pale was hot. It meant you didn’t have to work; you were wealthy, and could stay inside. This girl didn’t have that luxury. It explains elsewhere in the book that she was forced to work in the vineyard (remind anyone else a bit of Ruth gleaning in the fields?), so she was sunburned. She probably had calluses on her hands. She knew what it was like to work hard, to sweat. She was beautiful by societies standards. But she certainly caught the eye of the king. He was so in love with her. And not just her personality! He loved her body, too! He delighted in every aspect of his bride. And she delighted in him as well.
Third verse- “a garden locked up.” “Garden” is used a few times throughout the book as a metaphor for her body. She saying she has saved herself for him! Her body has been kept locked up, for his eyes only. She is more of a “secret garden,” not a public botanical garden, you get what I’m saying? She was pure and chaste, and saved certain things just for her hubby. A little mystery is a good thing, ladies.
I’m not going to be diving too deep into the character analysis of each woman mentioned for the sake of time and space; I would challenge you to really study each of these women’s stories though! I have been so blessed and challenged by them, and they have contributed in large ways to my understanding of Biblical femininity. But that’s enough intro; lets dive right in.
Sarah/Sarai was Abraham’s wife. We get to see a few different sides of her throughout Genesis. She made some mistakes, for sure, but Scripture holds her in high esteem. 1 Peter 3:5-6 says “For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.” That’s pretty amazing! She submitted to Abraham’s authority, but she still had her moments struggling with the curse. She wanted to control things. But she learned. She matured. In the brief narrative of Sarah and Abraham’s life, we get to know them so much. When they first left in search of the Promise Land, Abraham was still learning to lead well. Scripture tells us that Sarah was beautiful, and Abe was afraid other men would try to holler at it, and kill him in order to get to her. So he told his wife to lie, and say she was his sister. That plan was an epic fail. Fast forward to when God surprises them by informing them that they will have a child…after literally laughing at God, Sara tries to take over and tells Abraham to sleep with her maid servant, Hagar, so they can pass down the family name through that offspring. We’re still fighting a war in the Middle East over that poor life decision. Yet, 1 Peter tells us to be like her. She learned that God is sovereign, and her and Abraham are respected through out the Scriptures. None of us are perfect; we all go through the process of sanctification. But, we need to be teachable. That’s what makes a world of difference.
Ruth: Ruth was such a hard worker! After her hubby died, she stayed loyal to her mother-in-law and helped provide for her. She went out to glean in the field, and did HARD work. Manual labor. She wasn’t some prissy, high-maintenance, helpless charity case. She was a woman. She was able to provide for herself, but also humble enough to be provided for (…enter Boaz. If you haven’t gotten to know him very well, prepare to fall in love. What a man.) She knew how to submit to authority, but she was also able to challenge Boaz to fulfill his full potential. She needed a kinsman redeemer, and he was eligible to fill that position. And once he knew that- he didn’t rest until the matter was settled. They were so good for each other.
Abigail: She isn’t as well known as the other women we’re studying, but I just love her. She is briefly mentioned in 1 Samuel 25, but she has a huge impact. She is married to an idiot and is forced to pick up his mess, but she is so wise! She is described as being “discerning and beautiful.” She ultimately saves the entire household from being killed by David’s troops. Her husband, Nabal, is ultimately killed for his ignorance. David was also quite smitten with her; when he heard that her husband had died, he sent for her, and married her! Talk about making a good first impression. Obviously David’s polygamy was quite misguided, but he knew that this woman would be a source of wisdom and blessing to him. And he had to have her as part of his life.
Esther: She was a hottie. She was so beautiful that King Xerxes chose to marry her of all the women in the kingdom. God ultimately used her position as queen to save His people. Beauty as a spiritual gift? Maybe not, but God can use our beauty for sure.
Also worth noting from Esther’s story is Queen Vashti. She was Xerxes’ previous wife. He tried to show her off to his friends at a party because she was beautiful as well. She refused to come out and be treated like a trophy wife/objectified, and he exiled her. However, Scripture doesn’t speak decisively about her reaction; it merely presents it like a narrative, which leads us to our own conclusions. Xerxes and Vashti obviously had a dysfunctional relationship, to say the least. There was no love or respect (they obviously had not read Ephesians 5! Silly).
Proverbs 31 Woman: Holy cow. Where do I even begin? The good thing is that most of her characteristics are pretty easy to see, since they are essentially spelled out in the passage. So let’s step back and do a general evaluation, shall we? First, one thing that completely changed the way I view my behavior as a single woman was “she does good to her husband all the days of her life.” Ladies- ALL the days include the days before you meet him. Dude. Did that blow your mind the way it blew mine the first time I heard that? It completely rocked my world! The way that I dress, the way I speak, the way I behave, how I represent myself- all these things will affect my husband one day. The woman I am today affects who I will be tomorrow. We can’t just expect to suddenly have our act together and know how to love and submit to God and our husbands if we can’t even love and submit to God today! God is perfect- our husbands won’t be. It is infinitely easier to submit to God and love him than I would imagine it would be to submit to and love a man. Humans are flawed! If we can’t trust God today, don’t expect to suddenly have your act together when you get in to a relationship. (That advice is free. Not really related to what we’re talking about, just a little nugget to chew on for later. You’re welcome.) Additionally, she works hard. She is a blessing to her husband. She helps provide for the family by making wise investments, stewarding the money well, and taking care of them. She plans ahead. She works hard. She loves well. She continues to invest in the women around her. She reflects well on her husband, and on her God.
Song of Songs: I LOVE this book! It is like the well kept secret of the Bible. It is so risqué! But so holy at the same time! Such a delightful picture of the way God designed a marriage to be. Their intimacy isn’t something to be ashamed of- it is something that is to be used to glorify God and reflect His love for us. Just some key verses I want to focus on here: First one- “Why should I be like one who veils herself besides the flocks of your companions.” Whoa. Let’s unpack this verse for a sec. Do you get what she’s saying here? It’s quite bold; and so encouraging. In those days, prostitutes would veil themselves and wait for shepherds while they grazed their flocks at night. It was apparently a lonely lifestyle, so they would be available for “companionship” at night. The woman in this passage is saying, “I’ll meet you somewhere at noon. In the daylight. I will be treated with respect and honor, and behave in a way that is above reproach. I don’t need to stoop to cheap tactics to try to seduce you; I will not behave like a whore. I will be respected, and treated with dignity.” What an amazing example for us!
The second verse that I want to unpack a bit is “dark am I, yet lovely.” In those days, pale was hot. It meant you didn’t have to work; you were wealthy, and could stay inside. This girl didn’t have that luxury. It explains elsewhere in the book that she was forced to work in the vineyard (remind anyone else a bit of Ruth gleaning in the fields?), so she was sunburned. She probably had calluses on her hands. She knew what it was like to work hard, to sweat. She was beautiful by societies standards. But she certainly caught the eye of the king. He was so in love with her. And not just her personality! He loved her body, too! He delighted in every aspect of his bride. And she delighted in him as well.
Third verse- “a garden locked up.” “Garden” is used a few times throughout the book as a metaphor for her body. She saying she has saved herself for him! Her body has been kept locked up, for his eyes only. She is more of a “secret garden,” not a public botanical garden, you get what I’m saying? She was pure and chaste, and saved certain things just for her hubby. A little mystery is a good thing, ladies.
Bet you haven't done this Bible study before!
I’ve been doing a topical study through Scripture recently. It’s on a topic that I’ve never heard anyone preach on before, but I would love to hear a sermon on this. Because I have NO clue if there is a correct answer. But this is something I’ve been struggling with for months, and I’ve rarely been able to get a straight answer from anybody.
How can you be hit on/hollered at/asked out (rudely and disrespectfully) for the glory of God?
I’ve got to be honest: this is probably one of the most difficult topical studies I’ve tried to do through Scripture, for multiple reasons. First, it was not “normal” for women to be hit on during the time period that the Bible was written. Meaning, I can’t seem to find a single event recorded in Scripture of a woman being hit on. Not completely unexpected, but still a difficulty to overcome for this study. Second, there are so many ways that guys hit on girls! These various tactics will obviously require different responses, so it is impossible to provide a single answer for how to handle men hitting on you. Third, there’s such ambiguity in the term “for the glory of God.” We use it so often, yet we rarely stop to define it.
So that’s where we’re going to start: What exactly do we mean when we say “for the glory of God”? John Piper has a great answer; in his sermon “What is God’s glory,” he states “The public display of the infinite beauty and worth of God is what I mean by "glory," and I base that partly on Isaiah 6… So God's glory is the radiance of his holiness, the radiance of his manifold, infinitely worthy and valuable perfections.”
I thought this was a very thorough, helpful definition. When we publically display Christ as a priority, He is receiving glory. So if we are doing something for the glory of God, we are doing something that displays the work and importance of Christ in our lives.
Which brings us back to the original question: How are we able to glorify God when we are being hit on?
First, we could start with an easier question: Can we glorify God when we are being hit on?
That one is a definite YES. Scripture tells us to do all things for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31). So, what would that look like? Here’s where we get in to the meat of the study. I invite you to join me in this noble quest. It may be a bumpy ride, but hopefully we’ll stumble upon some answers along the way.
First, I think it is wise to examine women of Godly character that we can study from Scripture. From there we will try to list qualities in that define their character (good or bad). Thirdly, we should analyze how our character compares, and what areas we need God to purify us for His glory. Fourthly, we can start to apply these qualities, along with wisdom, to our lives (specifically when guys hit on girls). I’m hoping to separate each step in to its own post; that way it will be a bit more manageable to read. Sounds like a plan? Sweet. Let’s get started. I'll have the first post up soon.
How can you be hit on/hollered at/asked out (rudely and disrespectfully) for the glory of God?
I’ve got to be honest: this is probably one of the most difficult topical studies I’ve tried to do through Scripture, for multiple reasons. First, it was not “normal” for women to be hit on during the time period that the Bible was written. Meaning, I can’t seem to find a single event recorded in Scripture of a woman being hit on. Not completely unexpected, but still a difficulty to overcome for this study. Second, there are so many ways that guys hit on girls! These various tactics will obviously require different responses, so it is impossible to provide a single answer for how to handle men hitting on you. Third, there’s such ambiguity in the term “for the glory of God.” We use it so often, yet we rarely stop to define it.
So that’s where we’re going to start: What exactly do we mean when we say “for the glory of God”? John Piper has a great answer; in his sermon “What is God’s glory,” he states “The public display of the infinite beauty and worth of God is what I mean by "glory," and I base that partly on Isaiah 6… So God's glory is the radiance of his holiness, the radiance of his manifold, infinitely worthy and valuable perfections.”
I thought this was a very thorough, helpful definition. When we publically display Christ as a priority, He is receiving glory. So if we are doing something for the glory of God, we are doing something that displays the work and importance of Christ in our lives.
Which brings us back to the original question: How are we able to glorify God when we are being hit on?
First, we could start with an easier question: Can we glorify God when we are being hit on?
That one is a definite YES. Scripture tells us to do all things for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31). So, what would that look like? Here’s where we get in to the meat of the study. I invite you to join me in this noble quest. It may be a bumpy ride, but hopefully we’ll stumble upon some answers along the way.
First, I think it is wise to examine women of Godly character that we can study from Scripture. From there we will try to list qualities in that define their character (good or bad). Thirdly, we should analyze how our character compares, and what areas we need God to purify us for His glory. Fourthly, we can start to apply these qualities, along with wisdom, to our lives (specifically when guys hit on girls). I’m hoping to separate each step in to its own post; that way it will be a bit more manageable to read. Sounds like a plan? Sweet. Let’s get started. I'll have the first post up soon.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
The Holy Spirit: My divine translator
For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
(Romans 8:19-28 ESV)
That is one of my FAVORITE passages in Scripture. I used to just read through it so brazenly, not truly soaking up the truth of those words. Fortunately, God has forced me to slow down a bit and truly experience this passage. Don’t you love when He makes the Scriptures come alive like that?
We recently went through this passage at 757 worship nights, and Dalton explained that the “eager expectation” creates the image of all of creation on its tip-toes, craning to see the coming salvation and adoption as children of God. Isn’t that such amazing imagery?! I absolutely love that. It resonated with me so strongly. For a lot of people, it has been a while since you’ve had to stand on your tip-toes and crane your neck to see something. God, in His grace and mercy, created me to be 4’11”, so I understand what it is to be on tip-toes. But this analogy rings so true- when I want to see something, I am on my tip-toes, straining to see over any obstacles in my way.
This is how we should be while wait eagerly for our Savior! When is the last time you have really been anxious for Jesus to return? The last time you were so broken by the sin of this world that you couldn’t even express your longing for God in words? Have you ever experienced the Holy Spirit interceding for you in prayer? Let me tell you- it is one of the most comforting feelings in the midst of gut-wrenching experiences.
God has allowed me to experience the Spirit’s intercession so many times while I’m praying for the hockey team. I can not even tell you how often I have just come to God, held out my hands and just laid them before Him with “groanings too deep for words.” Whether I’m frustrated, discouraged, confused, hurt, angry- the Spirit knows exactly how to intercede for me. And He does. Faithfully.
This passage speaks specifically to the groanings as we wait for “the revealing of the sons of God.” This is the portion of the Scripture that has most recently been hitting home for me. Some days, I just look around at the creation around me, and it just hits me: We are so broken. We are with out hope, unable to save ourselves. Nothing that we do on our own can please God. Scripture even tells us that “without faith, it is impossible to please God” (Hebrews 11:6). That’s pretty heavy stuff. Have you ever just looked around at the sin that enslaves our world, our friends, our families, and just wept for the brokenness of humanity? It is only then that I began to even begin to comprehend the Father’s heartbreak over sin. We were created in His image. And then we fell. Now we are constantly seeking to reflect His image as best as we can, but we are still like broken mirrors.
It was then, and only then, that I began to feel the weight of my sin. The true weight of my sin. My sin is what made Jesus leave the right hand of the Father. My sin led Him to leave heaven, come down to earth, humble Himself, and give Himself up for His church. For me. For you. He died for the sins I haven’t even committed yet! His blood covers me and allows me to fellowship with God.
That is inconceivable.
I’ve been hard-core desensitized to that. I’ve just grown up taking Christ’s sacrifice for granted. That is so offensive! Even my best works are like rags before Him. And not just rags; the original language there is referring to menstrual rags. I don’t care who you are, or what culture you’re from- that’s NASTY. Our sin is offensive. It’s heartbreaking. It’s a problem. And when we begin to realize that, we can start to truly recognize our need for a Savior. And when we see how much we need Him, we miss Him so terribly. We long to be with Him. We ache to throw weight of our sin and run into His loving arms.
But we’re stuck here.
Not to be whiney and constantly complain about the flesh. But to be foot soldiers. To redeem creation, to take every thought captive, and to glorify our God among this fallen creation. We don’t deserve to worship our God. Yet He uses us in His plan.
I’m not saying its bad to yearn for God and focus on Him. Obviously that is what this Scripture is talking about! We are supposed to know that we have been set apart; we shouldn’t feel at home here. We’re supposed to miss our Creator and long to be with Him. But if we stop there, what good is that?? We must proclaim this good news! That is why God has us here- to glorify Him. So be focused on Him. Let Him mold you, shape you, and mold you in to His image. Then let Him use you. “Bloom where you’re planted, then let Him transplant you.” Serve Him whole heartedly where ever He has placed you for the time being. Run the race with perseverance. One day, He will graciously call all of us home. But that day may not be today. Be faithful with every moment He has given you, so that when we see Him face to face, He will warmly welcome us with “well done, my good and faithful servant.” There is nothing in this world that can be better than seeing the loving face of the Father as He proudly speaks those words.
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
(Romans 8:19-28 ESV)
That is one of my FAVORITE passages in Scripture. I used to just read through it so brazenly, not truly soaking up the truth of those words. Fortunately, God has forced me to slow down a bit and truly experience this passage. Don’t you love when He makes the Scriptures come alive like that?
We recently went through this passage at 757 worship nights, and Dalton explained that the “eager expectation” creates the image of all of creation on its tip-toes, craning to see the coming salvation and adoption as children of God. Isn’t that such amazing imagery?! I absolutely love that. It resonated with me so strongly. For a lot of people, it has been a while since you’ve had to stand on your tip-toes and crane your neck to see something. God, in His grace and mercy, created me to be 4’11”, so I understand what it is to be on tip-toes. But this analogy rings so true- when I want to see something, I am on my tip-toes, straining to see over any obstacles in my way.
This is how we should be while wait eagerly for our Savior! When is the last time you have really been anxious for Jesus to return? The last time you were so broken by the sin of this world that you couldn’t even express your longing for God in words? Have you ever experienced the Holy Spirit interceding for you in prayer? Let me tell you- it is one of the most comforting feelings in the midst of gut-wrenching experiences.
God has allowed me to experience the Spirit’s intercession so many times while I’m praying for the hockey team. I can not even tell you how often I have just come to God, held out my hands and just laid them before Him with “groanings too deep for words.” Whether I’m frustrated, discouraged, confused, hurt, angry- the Spirit knows exactly how to intercede for me. And He does. Faithfully.
This passage speaks specifically to the groanings as we wait for “the revealing of the sons of God.” This is the portion of the Scripture that has most recently been hitting home for me. Some days, I just look around at the creation around me, and it just hits me: We are so broken. We are with out hope, unable to save ourselves. Nothing that we do on our own can please God. Scripture even tells us that “without faith, it is impossible to please God” (Hebrews 11:6). That’s pretty heavy stuff. Have you ever just looked around at the sin that enslaves our world, our friends, our families, and just wept for the brokenness of humanity? It is only then that I began to even begin to comprehend the Father’s heartbreak over sin. We were created in His image. And then we fell. Now we are constantly seeking to reflect His image as best as we can, but we are still like broken mirrors.
It was then, and only then, that I began to feel the weight of my sin. The true weight of my sin. My sin is what made Jesus leave the right hand of the Father. My sin led Him to leave heaven, come down to earth, humble Himself, and give Himself up for His church. For me. For you. He died for the sins I haven’t even committed yet! His blood covers me and allows me to fellowship with God.
That is inconceivable.
I’ve been hard-core desensitized to that. I’ve just grown up taking Christ’s sacrifice for granted. That is so offensive! Even my best works are like rags before Him. And not just rags; the original language there is referring to menstrual rags. I don’t care who you are, or what culture you’re from- that’s NASTY. Our sin is offensive. It’s heartbreaking. It’s a problem. And when we begin to realize that, we can start to truly recognize our need for a Savior. And when we see how much we need Him, we miss Him so terribly. We long to be with Him. We ache to throw weight of our sin and run into His loving arms.
But we’re stuck here.
Not to be whiney and constantly complain about the flesh. But to be foot soldiers. To redeem creation, to take every thought captive, and to glorify our God among this fallen creation. We don’t deserve to worship our God. Yet He uses us in His plan.
I’m not saying its bad to yearn for God and focus on Him. Obviously that is what this Scripture is talking about! We are supposed to know that we have been set apart; we shouldn’t feel at home here. We’re supposed to miss our Creator and long to be with Him. But if we stop there, what good is that?? We must proclaim this good news! That is why God has us here- to glorify Him. So be focused on Him. Let Him mold you, shape you, and mold you in to His image. Then let Him use you. “Bloom where you’re planted, then let Him transplant you.” Serve Him whole heartedly where ever He has placed you for the time being. Run the race with perseverance. One day, He will graciously call all of us home. But that day may not be today. Be faithful with every moment He has given you, so that when we see Him face to face, He will warmly welcome us with “well done, my good and faithful servant.” There is nothing in this world that can be better than seeing the loving face of the Father as He proudly speaks those words.
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